


"MEETING OF MINDS"

by Slasherfem



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 17:37:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slasherfem/pseuds/Slasherfem
Summary: While waiting for Vulcan's ruling council to vote on the question of Federation membership, Captain Kirk decides to go hiking on the Pilgrim's Trail, where he meets a Vulcan scientist on a pilgrimage.





	"MEETING OF MINDS"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sahviere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sahviere/gifts).



On the planet Vulcan, ten kilometers outside the capital city of ShiKhar, the red sun rose over the great desert known as Vulcan’s Forge, revealing an arid landscape of glittering gray sand. Here and there the level terrain was occasionally broken by exotic cacti, some of them dotted with flowers, or an immense boulder. Between two of these boulders lay a lone human figure sleeping in his bedroll. 

Before the red sun had risen very far over the horizon, the human, accustomed to rising early on board the starship where he served, woke up and crawled out of the bedroll and into his hiking boots. After a quick wash to take the sleep out of his eyes and the morning taste from his mouth, he used a little more of his precious water supply to make himself some coffee. He sat sipping it between bites of a high energy protein bar, as he calculated the distance between his present campsite and the L-Langon Mountains in the distance ahead.

 _*If I keep walking east, I should be there by noon,*_ he thought. _*Then the real fun begins!*_ He smiled to himself, looking forward to exploring the rugged L-Langons of Vulcan. An early morning breeze ruffled his sandy blond hair and blew that troublesome forelock over his face again. He pushed it back automatically, his hazel eyes bright as they contemplated the distant mountain range. He regarded it as a challenge. He had never been one to refuse a challenge, no matter how difficult. It was this same dogged stubbornness, this same drive to succeed, that had made him one of the youngest men to be promoted to captain in Starfleet.

He had earned this brief vacation, having spent the last two weeks participating in the diplomatic conference at ShiKhar, helping the Federation ambassador Robert Fox map out a treaty with the Vulcan government to formalize Vulcan’s entry into the United Federation of Planets. For the last forty years they had enjoyed Most Favored Planet status, freely engaging in trade with Earth and several other allied planets. But the strong conservative element in the Vulcan government had kept them from joining the Federation until they were certain that membership would truly be beneficial to Vulcan. Now, after forty years, they were finally ready. Ambassador Fox had found the young starship captain’s aid invaluable, especially when it came to putting the very prim and proper Vulcans at ease.

“You have more charm than should be legally permitted in a man your age, James T. Kirk,” Fox had told him after one particularly grueling session. “How else could you have managed to thaw out that walking freezer unit T’Pau, after I spent all morning trying to persuade her of the Federation’s good intentions?”  

 Kirk had given him one of his boyish smiles, which seemed to have a melting effect on the hearts of men and women alike. “I guess she just preferred my plain speaking to all your high-browed diplomatic language, Mr. Fox.”

“I’ll bet your handsome face didn’t hurt either!” Fox had laughed.

When the first half of the negotiations had been concluded, the Vulcans requested a recess of two weeks in order to consider the Federation’s offer. Kirk had been eager to go exploring to work off some of his surplus energy. Rejecting a guided tour of the city as too tame, he had welcomed the suggestion of Lord Sarek, the Vulcan ambassador, to climb the L-Langon Mountains and take the Pilgrim’s Trail to the shrine of T’Vet. “The journey should take you no longer than a fortnight,” Sarek had told him. “Just stay on the trail, and at the foot of the mountains on the opposite side you will find our most ancient shrine to the goddess T’Vet, protector of the clans and patron of warriors. It is also the burial ground of our most renowned ancestors. My son is making a pilgrimage there to pay his respects at our family tomb. Perhaps you will meet him along the way.”

Kirk had been so excited at the prospect of escaping from the stuffy confines of the conference room, he had taken only the bare necessities for his journey. His ship’s surgeon, Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, upon learning that he intended to climb mountains, had insisted he take some extra tri-ox ampules and a small hypospray. “Don’t go breaking your fool neck before the next round of talks,” McCoy had grumbled as he accompanied Kirk to the transporter room, “or we’ll have to find someone else to charm the pants off that stiff-necked, high and mighty Vulcan lady.”

“Why don’t you give it a try, Bones?” Kirk had suggested playfully. “You’re closer to her age than I am.” 

“Humph! She’s got grandsons younger than I am, Jim. Maybe that’s why she’s so impressed with you; she thinks you’re an adorable little boy.”

Kirk had laughed boyishly as he stepped into the transporter chamber. “Well, brush up on your Southern charm in case I don’t make it back. And tell Gary to behave himself while I’m gone.”

“I’m sure your first officer won’t do anything that you wouldn’t do, Captain. God help us all!”

 “You’re a cynic, Bones. See you in two weeks.” With that, Captain Kirk had been transported down to the ShiKhar city limits to begin his journey. At sunset he had taken shelter between two boulders, building a small fire to keep off the predators before retiring for the night.

After finishing his scanty breakfast and making sure his campfire was out, Kirk shouldered his backpack and bedroll and headed towards the rising sun. Nobody seeing the sturdy, compact figure in sweatshirt, jeans and hiking boots would have guessed he was a Starfleet captain; he looked like any other human tourist out to challenge Vulcan’s rugged L-Langon Mountain range.

 He reached the Pilgrim’s Trail by noon; it was plainly marked with a sign in Vulcan characters, with a Federation Standard English translation directly beneath it. Noticing that the Vulcan sign had more characters in it than the Standard one, Kirk wondered what the interpreter had left out. _*It probably says ‘You are now on the Pilgrim’s Trail; I’d turn back if I were you’.*_ Laughing to himself, he hitched up his backpack and proceeded to climb the mountain path.

 He made good progress at first, but as the sun beat down on him and the trail began getting narrower, he started getting thirsty and footsore. _*Time to break for lunch. Do you good to get off your feet for a while.*_ He looked around for a place to sit, but couldn’t find one far enough away from the ledge on his right. Just looking over it made him dizzy; he was so far up by now that the tallest cacti looked like Christmas trees. There were plenty of scrubby-looking bushes growing out of the rocks above and below him, but he didn’t think they’d be enough to hold his weight if he should fall. He was starting to have trouble breathing, too.

 _*I guess it’s time for a shot of tri-ox.*_ He came to a portion of the trail that was a little wider than the rest, where a ledge jutted out from the rock wall at waist level. Removing his backpack, he rested it on this ledge and dug down into it until he located his little first aid kit by touch and pulled it out. Opening it, he found the tri-ox compound, inserted one ampule into the hypo and injected himself in the left arm through the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Within moments, he found it a lot easier to breathe.

 _*That’s better,*_ he thought, taking deep breathes of the clean mountain air. He felt a little lightheaded and guessed it was an aftereffect of the tri-ox. _*I better stay put for a while; wouldn’t want to fall off the ledge at this height!*_ Stuffing the first aid kit back into his pack, he pulled his canteen out of the recess in the pack’s side. Uncapping it, he put it to his lips and stood there with his head back and his eyes closed, enjoying the coolness of the water going down his throat.

 When he’d quenched his thirst, he stepped back a little to see how far the trail ahead was. Unfortunately, he miscalculated the width of the trail and stepped back a little too far. When he felt his boot heels sliding over the edge, his canteen went flying as he frantically tried to throw himself forward and catch the protruding ledge. His hands missed it by a fraction of an inch. He scrabbled frantically at the edge, but the sharp rock face gave him no hold and he failed to even slow his downward plunge.

 He slid about six feet before landing on another ledge. The moment he felt his feet hit something solid, he reached up and grabbed for a hold. He was lucky to get a good grip on a couple of rock protrusions. He tried to climb back up to the trail, but the rock face was too smooth; there were no crevices for him to dig his fingers and toes into. After nearly losing his grip, he stood there panting, blinking the dirt out of his eyes, waiting for his heart to stop pounding so he could think about what to do next.

 _*Okay, don’t panic. Sarek said there were always plenty of travelers on the Pilgrim’s Trail making a pilgrimage to the shrine, just like Muslims traveling to Mecca on Earth. So if I wait long enough, somebody should be coming along.*_ The question was, how long could he wait? He’d lost his canteen in the fall and the rest of his supplies were out of reach. That red sun was still directly overhead, shining right down on his unprotected head. And what about the predators that lived in these mountains? He knew the wild _sehlats_ were more or less benign—if you didn’t bother them, they didn’t bother you—but the _lematyas_ were carnivorous and extremely fierce. And wasn’t there also a predatory bird called the _korri-bani_ , about the size of a prehistoric Terran pterodactyl? He thought about signaling his ship for help, then remembered that his communicator was at the bottom of his backpack.

 _*Nice move, Einstein. Isn’t Bones always telling you to keep the damned thing on you? Now you know why.*_ Sighing in resignation, he vowed to pay more attention to his friend’s warnings in the future. _*I’d kick myself for being so stupid, if I wasn’t afraid I’d fall off. Somebody better come by soon or I’m dead meat.*_ He settled down for a long wait, trying not to think about what he’d do if nobody came along by nightfall.

********  

Spock, son of Sarek, finally arrived at the Pilgrim’s Trail near sunset. He’d been delayed that morning by a computer malfunction, forcing him to transcribe some important notes for his father by hand. But at least Sarek would have them in time for his meeting with T’Pau and the rest of the ruling council tomorrow morning. Now he was free to make his pilgrimage to their ancestral tomb and the ancient shrine of T’Vet. It was said that one could attain wondrous visions there, if one meditated long enough. He hoped that having human blood wouldn’t prevent him from receiving a vision; he was in desperate need of guidance, divine or otherwise, on the course of his future.

His mother, the former Amanda Grayson of Earth, had seen him off that morning, grumbling over the unfairness of it all. “Why should I be denied the right to enter the shrine, just because I’m an offworlder, while you are allowed in? You’re my son, as well as your father’s.”

"Unfortunately, Mother, when it comes to my Vulcan heritage I am my father’s son, in appearance at least,” Spock had told her placatingly. “While you, as lovely as you are, could never be mistaken for anything but a human by the unseen guardians of the shrine.”

“Well, at least you think I’m lovely,” she’d laughed, patting her silver hair self-consciously, “despite the flaw of being merely human.”

“I see no flaw in you, Mother,” he’d assured her. “Other than a persistent refusal to abide by Sarek’s Principals of Logic. I, however, must make this pilgrimage to prove that I am capable of abiding by these principals.”

“Very well, Spock,” she’d sighed. “Go and pay homage to your father’s ancestors. If you make it inside the temple, you’ll know you are truly Vulcan.”

“Thank you, Mother. Do not be overly concerned for my well-being. I promise I shall return within two weeks.” He’d paused on the threshold of their home in ShiKhar, wishing he could kiss her goodbye the way he used to as a child. But such a blatant public display of emotion between a grown son and his mother was considered very improper. So he settled for touching her cheek, using the natural bond between mother and child to tell her that he loved her.

Amanda had given him a tremulous smile, followed by her blessing. “Live long and prosper, my son. Come back safely.”

“I shall, Mother.” He’d left without looking back, feeling her loving eyes on him for as long as he was within sight.

He’d originally planned to reach the Pilgrim’s Trail by noon and here it was only an hour till sunset. He’d have to make haste if he wanted to reach the first shelter before dark. As he walked along the mountain trail, it became narrower and narrower beneath his increasingly weary feet. The one-piece gray softsuit he wore had a light coating of trail dust. His throat felt as if there was a great deal of dust in it as well. He had not touched his canteen since starting up the trail, ignoring the discomforts of fatigue and thirst as he’d been trained to do since earliest childhood. There would be plenty of fresh water at the traveler’s shelter, and he was determined to prove himself as disciplined as any full-blooded Vulcan, capable of putting off gratification until he’d achieved his goal.

As Spock approached the part of the trail where Kirk had fallen off, he saw the human’s backpack on the stone ledge. Something was wrong. He quickened his pace to investigate. As he jogged along, he sent a small shower of dust and stones over the edge.              

An exhausted and sunburned Kirk was still clinging to the side of the mountain. He saw the loose dirt falling from the trail above and heard the sound of running footsteps. Licking his dry lips, he tilted his head back and shouted up at the trail. “Help! Help me, please!”

“Where are you?” a masculine voice replied.

“Down here! I fell off the trail!” Kirk yelled. “Please help me! I can’t get back up!”

A shadow fell across his face as somebody leaned over the edge directly above him. He saw a dark-haired Vulcan male about his own age looking down at him. “Are you all right?” the Vulcan asked. 

“Yes, I’m uninjured. But I can’t climb up this rock face. Do you have a rope?”

“I don’t think a rope will be necessary.” The Vulcan knelt at the edge and extended one hand towards him. “I think I can reach you. Give me your hand.”

 Kirk cautiously extended his right hand, but couldn’t quite reach his rescuer’s. He stood on tiptoe, but he still couldn’t reach. “Hold on!” the Vulcan said. “Do not move! I will attempt to reach you.” He leaned down further, straining to reach Kirk’s desperately groping hand.

 _*Oh God, don’t slip, don’t slip!*_ Kirk silently prayed, not wanting to see his rescuer get killed for his pains. He waited breathlessly, straining to stay on his toes and keep holding his hand up as the Vulcan’s hand drew nearer and nearer. Finally their hands touched and the Vulcan got a firm grip before pulling him up.

The human almost collapsed with relief after Spock hauled him back up to the trail. Wrapping his arms around the human’s waist, Spock helped him over to the ledge where his pack was and sat him down before offering him his canteen. The red-faced human drank thirstily for a few minutes before emitting a sigh of relief. “Thanks! You just saved my life!   I don’t know how much longer I could have hung on down there.”

“You were fortunate that I happened to come by at this hour,” Spock told him. “Not many pilgrims are on the trail at this time of day."                                                                                                                                                      

“Tell me about it! I’ve been waiting since noon for somebody to come by. I thought I was going to have to spend the night down there.”

“Were you going to or from the shrine of T’Vet?”

“I was going to it. Now it looks as if I’ll have to turn back,” Kirk said regretfully. “I lost my own canteen in the fall.”

“You need not turn back,” Spock found himself saying impulsively. “I will share my water with you.”

The human stared up at him with bright hazel eyes as wide as a child’s. “Thank you, but it’s not necessary for you to put yourself out for my sake. You’ve already taken a big risk by pulling me back up.”

“Since I have saved your life, I consider myself responsible for you. You are obviously in need of an experienced guide through these mountains. So it is only logical that I should volunteer my services.”

 “Well, thank you very much, Mr...?” The human tilted his fair head to one side as he regarded Spock curiously.

“My name is Spock.” He studied the sweatshirt the human was wearing and noticed the Starfleet Academy logo. “Are you an exchange student at the Vulcan Science Academy?”

“What?” The human glanced down at himself and smiled. “No, I’m way too old to be a student. This is just an old shirt. I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE.”

“I am honored to make your acquaintance, Captain Kirk. I am here to serve.” Spock bowed his head politely as he gave the formal greeting, wondering how else he could serve this fascinating human.   

Kirk gave him an endearing grin. “Mr. Spock, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” 

********

After Kirk had applied some sunburn medication from his first aid kit, the two men resumed their journey together. Spock led the way along the narrow mountain trail; Kirk was content to follow his lead. As they walked, he studied the tall, dark, lean figure striding along confidently. Except for Ambassador Sarek, he didn’t know any Vulcans personally. This one intrigued him.

“You say you’ve been down this trail before?” he addressed the back of Spock’s head.

“Twice,” Spock said without turning around. “My father took me once as a child, to prepare me for my _Kahs-wan_ test. The second time I went by myself, as part of the _Kahs-wan_. Now I go as an adult, to pay my respects at the tomb of my ancestors.”

“Is there a good place to camp nearby?”

“We should be arriving at a traveler’s shelter before very much longer. It is only a small stone hut, but it will have a fireplace and sufficient fuel to cook with and keep us warm. It gets very cold up here in the mountains.”

Kirk touched his sunburned face, wincing at the soreness of his skin, which was hot to the touch. “Right now I’d welcome a little bit of cold, to help me forget all the heat I had to endure today.”

“Let us hope you still feel the same way after the sun sets.” Spock said nothing more until they arrived at the shelter. By that time it was full dark and Kirk was blindly following the Vulcan’s lead. He couldn’t even see the trail beneath his feet and knew that if he’d been on this trail alone, he would have fallen off long before he ever reached the shelter.

 _*His night vision must be incredible. I know he must be very strong, to have pulled me up so easily.*_ Remembering how easily Spock had pulled him back up to the trail gave him a little thrill of excitement he hadn’t felt in years. Not since he had taken his first male lover at the academy. _*That’s a fine thing to be thinking about someone who risked his life to help you!*_ Kirk scolded himself. _*Especially a Vulcan. You know what they’re like—logical, pragmatic, emotionless, capable of mating only every seven years. Or so they say...*_ He knew that Ambassador Sarek had taken a human wife from among the staff at the Terran Embassy forty years ago, and wondered how they could have remained married for so long, if he showed no interest in her for such long intervals.

When they got to the shelter, Spock opened the door and ducked his head to enter. Kirk paused at the doorway of the thatched stone hut and reached into his right-hand pocket for his permanent match. “Is something wrong, Captain?” he heard Spock’s deep voice saying from out of the darkness.

“No, I’m just looking for a light,” Kirk told him.

“Can you not see your way, then?”

“Of course not, it’s pitch black! Don’t tell me you can see your way around in there.”

“Of course.” He heard Spock moving around, setting down his pack, taking wood from the wood box and putting it into the fireplace.

“You must have eyes like a cat!” Kirk exclaimed.

“It is only logical that on a planet without a moon, the people should evolve with better night vision than the people on your world.” Kirk heard several soft clicks as he spoke, followed by a shower of sparks. Suddenly a bright, blue flame appeared, revealing the interior of the little stone hut. Spock put away his fire maker and bent over the fireplace, feeding the tiny flame with sticks to make it grow.

“That’s better.” Kirk entered the hut, drawn to the light and warmth of the fire. He shut the door, took off his pack and put it in the corner by the door.

“It is comforting to have a fire in the darkness,” Spock agreed, continuing to feed the flame. “Do you wish to prepare supper or should I?”

“Do you eat Terran food?” Kirk was rummaging through his pack now. “I know Vulcans are vegetarians. Most of my trail food is meat-based protein bars, but I have plenty of dried fruit.”

“So have I. I also have several packets of concentrated dry soup mix. I believe we are both entitled to the comfort of a hot meal after our long trek. You, especially, need to replenish your body fluids.”

“Have we got enough water to make soup?”

“There is a spring right behind this hut. If you need to relieve yourself, the necessary facility is a little further away.”

Kirk laughed. “How very logical! Put the privy far enough away to keep from polluting the water supply. I hope it’s not so far away that the user is vulnerable to predators.”

 "I suggest you keep your weapon close at hand when you go out. Wild _sehlots_ have been known to loiter outside these shelters, hoping to steal food. They have also been known to attack people when they are hungry enough.” 

“Thanks for the warning.” Kirk unrolled his bedroll by the fire and laid out his supplies on it. Spock followed his example. They discovered that by pooling their resources, they had enough for a decent meal of mixed Terran and Vulcan fare. Spock filled his little cooking pot in the spring outside and emptied a soup packet into it, letting it simmer while he and Kirk washed up and prepared the rest of the food—bread, cheese and dried fruit.

 When supper was ready, they sat close by the fire while they ate, as it was now a lot colder and the wind kept blowing through the slats in the wooden door. Kirk retrieved a denim jacket from his pack and put it on, but he still felt cold. Spock noticed him shivering and encouraged him to drink as much of the hot soup as possible. Kirk didn’t really care for the Vulcan _plomeek_ soup, but he didn’t want to appear ungrateful to his rescuer, so he drank as much as he could.

 After supper, Spock brewed a small pot of herbal tea, which he shared with Kirk. The human found he liked the tea much better than the soup; the naturally sweet flavor of the fragrant herbs was enhanced by the thick, brown honey Spock stirred into their cups. When they finished the tea, Spock suggested that they retire early so that they could get an early start tomorrow morning. “Sleep as close to the fire as you can, Captain,” he urged him. “I know how sensitive to cold humans are.”

“Not as sensitive as you Vulcans. Anyway, I’ve got my sunburn to keep me warm,” Kirk chuckled as he slathered on more sunburn lotion.

 Spock leaned over and peered into the handsome, sunburned face of his human companion. “Does your face hurt?” he asked, a touch of anxiety in his deep voice.

 "Just a little bit. I’ll be fine, Spock, really,” Kirk assured him with a smile.

 “Are you sure?” Spock touched him on one cheek with the fingertips of one long, sensitive hand.

 Kirk flinched away from the contact. “Please don’t do that,” he said quietly. “It hurts.”

“I ask forgiveness.” Spock averted his eyes, ashamed of being so forward with such a recent acquaintance. _*I could not help myself. He looked so vulnerable and so appealing. I just had to touch him.*_

_“It’s okay,” said Kirk, suddenly sorry he had flinched away. “Just don’t touch me there while the skin is red. When the burn heals, it won’t be so painful.”_

Spock nodded and busied himself with his preparations for retiring. After banking the fire, he removed his boots and put them against the wall along with his pocket phaser, then zipped himself into his bedroll and lay with his face to the wall. 

Kirk followed his example, putting his boots in the corner by the door and tucking his phaser into one of them. After zipping himself into his bedroll, he lay staring at his companion’s back for a while before saying softly, “Spock?”

“Yes, Captain Kirk?” Spock was careful to be very polite and formal, to make up for his earlier forwardness.

 “Wouldn’t it be a lot warmer if we slept back to back?”

 “Indeed. That would be more comfortable.” Spock felt a lot warmer inside at the thought of being so close to the handsome human.

So Kirk and Spock moved to the center of the packed-dirt floor and lay back to back, as the cold mountain air filled the little stone hut and the small fire burned down low. After a while, they both fell asleep. 

********

Kirk had the sensation of being deliciously caressed by warm hands all over his body. He lay with his eyes closed, feeling scared and exhilarated at the same time. _*Who’s touching me?*_ he wondered. At first he thought it was a woman, but the strength in those warm hands as they rubbed his neck and back, then squeezed his buttocks, soon convinced him that it was a man who caressed him.

 _*Spock?*_ He tried to say the name out loud and found he couldn’t. He didn’t know whether he was awake or dreaming, whether this was really happening or only a pleasant fantasy brought on by gratitude to the handsome Vulcan who saved him. He only knew he didn’t want it to stop. He tried again to say Spock’s name out loud, but succeeded only in emitting a breathy moan of pleasure, loud enough to penetrate the deep sleep of the Vulcan, who still lay back to back with him.

Spock lay dreaming that he held the handsome human close, caressing the trim, compact body he had been admiring since he pulled him back up onto the trail. He’d had to put his arms around Kirk to lift him, so he knew that his waist was slender enough to encircle with both arms, while his chest and shoulders were broad, but nicely proportioned for a man his size. His whole body had felt good in Spock’s arms the brief time he had held him, firm yet yielding, as manly as Spock’s own, but because he was human more delicate, more easily hurt. He longed to cherish him and show him how good it would be to share a warrior’s love. But for now, all he wanted to do was hold him close, protect him from the cold night air with the heat of his own body.

Kirk let out another moan as he tried to get closer to the warm body that held him so firmly, yet gently, in its strong arms. He wished they were naked so that he could feel more of the Vulcan’s warmth against him. Then suddenly they were naked and Spock was lying on top of him, covering him like a blanket. Kirk wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, pulling him as close as he could get. Warm, soft lips grazed through the human’s hair, then across his face, kissing his forehead, his closed eyelids, his cheekbones, and finally his mouth.

 As soon as Spock’s lips touched his, Kirk felt an orgasm building up in his groin. As the kiss deepened, he felt the first few drops of hot fluid leaking from his now erect penis onto his stomach. He moaned into Spock’s open mouth as his body spasmed, hips jerking upward instinctively as he climaxed, his semen spurting out between their tightly pressed bodies. Spock echoed his moan of pleasure as Kirk felt another stream of hot fluid gushing from Spock’s penis between their bellies.

 After they climaxed, both men relaxed in each other’s arms. Sleep overcame them both as they lay together in their dream embrace.

********   

When Kirk woke up in the morning, he found his companion already awake, preparing breakfast. He himself was still firmly zippered inside his bedroll. When he unzipped it, he found he was still fully dressed, but had a large damp patch at the crotch of his jeans.

Embarrassed to be having wet dreams at his age, Kirk managed to crawl out of the bedroll and get outside without Spock seeing him, grabbing his backpack on the way out. Once outside, he located the little spring and washed away all the traces of his nocturnal emission in the cold running water. After changing into clean underwear, a yellow zip-front shirt and his spare jeans, he went back inside the hut and was able to greet Spock cheerfully, accepting a bowl of nut-filled porridge from him without averting his eyes.

 _*I just hope he doesn’t ask me how I slept last night,*_ Kirk thought as he ate. _*I’ll be blushing like a schoolboy!*_

_Seeing how calmly the human acted convinced Spock that last night had been merely a dream. He too had awakened in his bedroll to find a damp patch at his crotch. He managed to slip outside without waking his companion and performed the necessary ablutions at the spring, changing into a clean softsuit, folded small at the bottom of his pack. As he went about the business of preparing breakfast, he found himself experiencing what his mother called mixed emotions, pleasure at having enjoyed a delightful nocturnal fantasy, and shame at having made his new friend the object of this fantasy._

  _*I only hope he does not ask me how I slept last night,*_ Spock thought as he built up the fire for breakfast. _*My controls are so precarious that I_ _might find myself blushing.*_

_Both men ate breakfast in silence. After cleaning up and restocking the wood box as a courtesy to the next traveler, they left the little hut and resumed their journey._

********          

Spock led the way while the trail was too narrow for more than one person to walk at a time. When it finally began to widen enough for two people to walk abreast, they discovered that a minor rockslide had blocked that section. Spock began picking up rocks and tossing them over the edge as easily as if they were pebbles. Kirk helped him for a while, then had to stop and rest, sitting beneath a scraggly tree which provided a little shade from the merciless red sun. While he rested, Spock finished clearing the trail. Only then did he join Kirk beneath the tree and take a sip from his canteen, which he had refilled at the shelter.

 “We are fortunate to have come so far so early in the day,” Spock commented as he offered Kirk the canteen. “If our luck holds, we shall be at the second traveler’s shelter by sundown.”

 Kirk took a long drink and emitted a sigh of satisfaction. “Thanks!” he said. “I just hope there aren’t any more rockslides while we’re walking along.”

 “Rockslides in the mountains usually occur only during the rainy season,” Spock assured him. “The weather up here has remained consistently dry, according to the meteorological report I heard before leaving home yesterday.”

 “Where is your home? In ShiKhar?”

 “Yes, in ShiKhar,” Spock answered quickly, careful not to say exactly where in ShiKhar. The moment he learned the human was in Starfleet, he knew that he had to be attached to the Federation contingent which was in the midst of negotiating a treaty with Vulcan. Some of his father’s more conservative critics had accused Sarek of being partial to the humans on account of his human wife. If they learned that Sarek’s son had befriended a human, it would give them even more ammunition to use in arguing against a treaty with the Federation.

  _*I must be careful not to reveal my relationship with Sarek, nor mention my human mother. Since Sarek’s son is known to be the only person of Vulcan-human blood over the age of thirty, it would not be difficult for Captain Kirk to guess who I am, once he finds out my mother is human.*_ Spock volunteered more personal information to prevent Kirk from inquiring further about him. “I am currently attached to the Vulcan Science Academy, dividing my time between teaching and research.”

 “What sort of research?”

“Xenobiology, studying the effects of deep space travel upon humanoid life.”

“Hey, my ship’s surgeon specializes in Xenobiology!” Kirk said with a smile. “You should meet him sometime. You might find you have a lot in common.”

 Spock, gazing upon the eager, open face of his companion, thought that he would prefer to know _him_ a little better.   “I have often thought of joining Starfleet,” he confided to Kirk wistfully. “But my family duties prevent me from indulging myself.” He did not mention that one of these duties was an arranged marriage to a woman he barely knew, whom he had seen only half a dozen times since they were formally betrothed at the age of seven. “And what do you do when you are not commanding a starship?”

“Get into trouble, mostly,” Kirk laughed. “At least according to Bones. That’s Doctor Leonard McCoy, my ship’s surgeon.”

 “I am aware of the human penchant for nicknames. Do you call him ‘Bones’ on account of his cadaverous appearance?”

 “No, it’s short for ‘Sawbones’, an old Terran slang word for a surgeon.” Kirk was starting to have trouble breathing. “Excuse me for a moment,” he said as he started rummaging through his backpack. Pulling out his first aid kit, he opened it and located an ampule of tri-ox, which he hastily inserted into the hypo.

“Is something wrong, Captain?” Spock asked.

“I’m okay,” Kirk told him breathlessly. “I’m just a little short of breath. This should help.” He injected himself in the left forearm through the sleeve of his shirt. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply while waiting for the tri-ox to take effect, pulling down the zipper in front of his shirt as he did so.

 Spock couldn’t help feeling worried as he watched Kirk, who seemed to be fighting for breath. “Captain, may I assist you somehow?”

 “No, please!” Kirk panted. “I’ll be all right in a moment.” When the tri-ox hit him, he suddenly became lightheaded and fell back against the trunk of the tree.

“Captain!” Spock grabbed him and held him in his arms. “Captain, what’s wrong? Please tell me!” he pleaded, looking anxiously into his friend’s unconscious face. Was he having an asthma attack? Or even a heart attack? Just when he decided to initiate CPR, Kirk opened his eyes. 

“Spock?” he murmured drowsily as he looked up into the Vulcan’s worried eyes. “Did I fall asleep?”

 Feeling greatly relieved, Spock informed him, “You appear to have fainted, Captain. What was that medication?”

 “Tri-ox compound. I have trouble breathing in this thin atmosphere. All humans do.” He tried to sit up and fell back into Spock’s arms again.

 “Lie still, Captain,” Spock told him gently. “Apparently you are still lightheaded from the sudden intake of oxygen.”

 “Yeah, I guess so.” Kirk relaxed, smiling up at him. “By the way, the name’s Jim.”

 “I shall remember.” Relieved that his friend wasn’t suffering from anything worse than hyperventilation, Spock carefully propped him up against the tree trunk. “We shall continue our journey as soon as you have recovered.”

 “Thanks.” Kirk closed his eyes again and breathed deeply. Spock sat beside him in the shade, watching over him. The tantalizing glimpse he got of Kirk’s suntanned chest through the open shirt made him wonder if the rest of his body was the same shade of golden brown.

******** 

Before they got to the second traveler’s shelter that night, Spock had introduced Kirk to various forms of Vulcan flora and fauna, both benign and hazardous. Once Kirk asked why they couldn’t stop to rest by a little mountain pool nestled among the rocks, surrounded by abundant greenery.

“I will show you why,” Spock said, a hint of a wry smile at the corners of his solemn mouth. He bent down and picked up a rock. Making sure he kept his distance, he threw the rock into the midst of the green vines twining around the pool.

 The vines suddenly came to life, twisting and squirming as they tightened themselves around the area where the rock had fallen. They looked like leafy green octopus tentacles searching for their prey. “Flesh-eating plants like these can be found in most shady places near small bodies of water,” Spock told him as Kirk stared with horrified fascination. “Experienced travelers know enough to avoid any area surrounded by such vines—unless they are armed with a sharp cutting tool.” 

“Yeah, I can see where a machete would come in handy.” Kirk felt a bit queasy as he watched the vines gradually stop squirming. “Are they attracted by movement or body heat?”

“Movement by day, body heat by night. When the vine flowers, it puts out fragrant white buds with a sweet scent that attracts all manner of small birds and animals. Once it seizes its prey, it squeezes it to death, then sucks the corpse dry of all fluid. When I was a boy, my friends and I used to amuse ourselves by throwing sticks and stones at every such plant we came across, so it would tire itself out trying to prey on inanimate objects.”

“Any of you ever try throwing an animate object?” Kirk asked jokingly. “Like a stray house pet?”

“Certainly not,” Spock said firmly. “That would be cruel. However, in the interest of science we did experiment with the bodies of dead animals. There are always many small, dead lizards to be found among the burrows beneath the cacti, where some come up too early and are killed by the nighttime cold. Others fall prey to the venom of bigger lizards or sand snakes. We also scavenged small, dead rodents from our gardens, killed by the family _sehlot_ or from eating a poisonous plant.”

“What happened when you threw them to the flesh-eating plant?”

“First it would engulf them, then compress them very hard. We could hear the bones breaking if we were very quiet. After it had finished tenderizing its prey this way, it would begin feeding. Rather noisily.” The corners of Spock’s mouth twitched in a ghost of a smile as he remembered the loud slurping sounds emitted by the flesh-eating plant every time it fed on the carrion he and his friends provided.

“Eww, gross!” Kirk made a face like a little kid as he imagined it.

“Indeed, most repulsive,” Spock agreed. “We all thought so. But we still kept coming back with more dead things to feed it.”

Kirk laughed.   “I see little boys are the same in this part of the galaxy too.”

“The fascination with horrific things does appear to be a common trait among Vulcan and human youth.” Spock hitched up his backpack, remarking as he turned away, “Come, Jim, let us continue our journey. Unless you wish to remain here and observe it devouring whatever unfortunate small animal comes to drink from the pool.”

 “No thanks!” Kirk hastened to follow, giving the little pool a wide berth. He kept looking at his feet to make sure he didn’t accidently step on any of the tentacle-like vines.

 As they journeyed on, Spock taught his human companion all the things he had learned on this same trail under his father’s tutorage, while in training for the _Khas-wan_. Kirk learned the difference between harmless and poisonous sand lizards and snakes, which cacti and roots were edible, where to dig for water and how to tell the tracks of a _le-matya_ from those of a _sehlot_. When they reached the traveler’s shelter, it was starting to get dark and cold again. Kirk insisted upon making potato soup from his supplies. Spock agreed to eat it once he was certain there was no meat or meat by-products in it. After supper they shared a pot of Kirk’s coffee and some of his peanut butter crackers, as Kirk told the curious Vulcan about Starfleet. He was hoping his shy friend would get over his overwhelming sense of family duty enough to follow his own heart.                     

“Starfleet’s the perfect way for a young scientist to see the universe and explore the unknown. You could get a dozen papers out of our last two missions alone. Bones is still writing his medical report about the unusual disease we encountered on one world...” As Kirk described the symptoms of the alien malady which had affected the entire landing party, including himself, Spock found himself paying more attention to the speaker than to his words.

 _*He is beautiful,*_ Spock thought dispassionately as he studied Kirk’s profile by the light of the fire. _*Brave and adventurous, as eager to explore the unknown as any scientist I have ever met. But he is more interested in doing than in observing. A man of action, unlike myself, a man of thought. I prefer to rely upon logic and scientific reasoning. Yet I would gladly give up my tenure at the Academy in order to be by his side in Starfleet. If only my father would allow it...*_

Spock knew that Sarek, along with other moderate Vulcans, regarded Starfleet as a necessary evil, a peace-keeping force which protected weaker or pacifistic planets like theirs from the more hostile beings who also roamed the galaxy, like the Klingons and Romulans. But while they didn’t mind accepting the protection of Starfleet, they were morally opposed to any Vulcan joining it, because arms training was mandatory for all recruits. All Vulcans were trained in weaponless fighting for the sole purpose of self-defense. Learning how to use weapons, except for the ceremonial battle one might have to fight at the _Koon-ut-Kali-fe_ , presupposed that one would have to wage war upon another. War had been eliminated centuries ago on Vulcan. Therefore, becoming a member of Starfleet meant that one would have to wage war upon another sentient race, which violated one of Surak’s strictest Principals of Logic that all Vulcans lived by.

Kirk was completely unaware of this conflict of principals. As he continued telling Spock about Starfleet, all he could see was the dark-eyed, olive-skinned Vulcan lying face down on his bedroll before the fireplace, listening intently with his sleek, dark head tilted to one side. _*I wish I could tell you how beautiful you are,*_ Kirk thought longingly. _*The way you look tonight makes me want to act out last night’s dream fantasy with you. How would you react to that suggestion, my oh-so-proper, logical Vulcan friend?*_ Kirk was forced to shift his position on his own bedroll as he became aware of his growing state of arousal. He tried to concentrate on what he was saying, but he couldn’t block out his growing awareness of Spock’s sex appeal. The quiet Vulcan seemed oblivious to his physical charms; even the way he rested his cheek upon one hand as he lay listening to Kirk made the human wish he was lying close enough to touch Spock’s cheek himself. 

“I seem to be dominating the conversation here,” Kirk remarked casually before turning away to pour himself another cup of coffee, trying to reduce the effect the Vulcan was having on him. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”

“There is not much to tell,” Spock said. “I have lived all my life on Vulcan, with only brief visits to Earth and other planets. My family lineage is an ancient one, with a great many traditions and responsibilities. It is on account of these that I am making the pilgrimage to the shrine, in order to seek enlightenment as to the path I must take in life.”

“Didn’t you see the shrine twice already, when you were a child?”

“On both those occasions I only saw the shrine from the outside. But I have never actually set foot inside. If I am allowed to enter, I shall attempt to attain a deep meditative state in order to receive a vision.”

 “Why wouldn’t you be allowed to enter?”

 “Not all pilgrims who seek enlightenment are found to be worthy.” Spock was reluctant to reveal the true reason he might be found unworthy, the fact that he was half human.

“You think the spirits of your ancestors might find you unworthy?” Kirk was surprised to find vestiges of superstition in such a logical race.

 “Not their spirits.” Spock hesitated, wondering whether this human was capable of grasping the concept of living minds existing without bodies. “Their _katras_ are still extant, interred with their bodies inside the family tomb. Before I seek the wisdom of T’Vet, I must call upon the _katras_ of my forebears to verify that I am their true descendent. Once I have been accepted by them, the goddess will permit me a vision of my future.”

 “I see,” Kirk murmured politely, thinking that this mysticism seemed inappropriate for a race that was supposed to be dedicated to pure logic. “You’re hoping that the souls of your ancestors will find you a worthy descendent and vouch for you to the goddess.”

“Not their souls, Jim, their _katras_ ,” Spock said earnestly. “It is the living essence of a person, all their memories, knowledge and experience, that which lives on after the body has decayed.”

Kirk didn’t see much difference, but he was too polite to say so. He just shrugged and said, “Well, I was brought up to respect other people’s religious beliefs, so I won’t presume to criticize yours.” 

Sensing that Kirk was losing interest in the conversation, Spock fell silent. They sat by the fire drinking their coffee, listening to the wind whining and moaning outside their stone shelter. The wooden door rattled in its frame, causing Kirk some anxiety as he wondered just how strong the winds got up here. Seeing the worried looks Kirk kept giving the door, Spock felt moved to reassure him. “This shelter is solidly built and lying within a protected enclave. There is little chance that it will be knocked down, or the door blown off in the wind. But we will be severely buffeted throughout the night, which means it will get very cold.” 

“Then I suppose we had better sleep close together again tonight,” Kirk said as casually as possible.

 “It seems only logical to share one’s body heat in an intemperate climate,” Spock agreed just as casually. Kirk looked up at him at that moment and their eyes met. Spock was startled by the naked yearning he saw in Kirk’s eyes. He averted his own eyes quickly, but not before Kirk had seen his hidden passion reflected in their depths.

By the time he climbed into his bedroll, Kirk was shaking with more than the cold. Spock was better able to maintain his façade of calm, but as he felt his well-padded back come up against the human’s, he couldn’t help feeling Kirk’s trembling as well. “Are you too cold, Jim?”

“I’m fine,” Kirk assured him through chattering teeth.  Truthfully, the biting cold of the mountain winds was starting to affect him. That, along with his suppressed desire for Spock, guaranteed a restless night.

“If I may make a suggestion towards our mutual comfort?” Spock wondered how his friend would respond to what was likely to be perceived as an unseemly suggestion. “I have noticed that our bedrolls are of similar construction. It is possible that we may be able to zip them together in order to create one large bedroll, big enough for both of us. It would be considerably warmer than two separate bedrolls.”

“That sounds logical to me,” Kirk said. “As long as you’re not bothered by the thought of sleeping with a man?”

“We are both mature adults, Jim. I am certain we are capable of distinguishing between an erotic encounter and a practical desire to stay warm.”

“Of course we are.” So Kirk and Spock unzipped themselves and spread out their bedrolls one on top of the other. By the dim light of the banked fire, they were able to fit the zippers together on both sides, creating one huge bedroll out of two. They climbed in together and zipped the opening closed, moving about a little restlessly as they lay side by side, like a couple of nervous teenagers on their wedding night. Eventually they were able to relax and fall asleep, arms, legs, and hips touching all along one side.

********    

Sometime during the night, the cold drove them into each other’s arms. At first it was simply the desire to be warm which made each man draw as close as possible to the warm body beside him. They snuggled together like two abandoned puppies, emitting soft whimpers and moans. The Vulcan’s higher body temperature made him feel pleasantly warm to the human, who hugged him tight, while the Vulcan, feeling the cooler human body against his, couldn’t help pulling it closer in an attempt to warm it.

The next thing they knew, they were kissing. Hands started roaming over strong male bodies, caressing broad shoulders, backs, chests, narrow waists and hips. Then they started kneading each other’s buttocks, groins and bellies ground together, producing soft moans and other sounds of pleasure. Kirk found himself lying on his back beneath Spock as he pulled Kirk’s shirt and jeans off. It didn’t take him long to remove his softsuit; when he was naked, he lay down on top of an equally naked Kirk. They held each other close as they kissed deeply, neither one of them sure whether this was a dream or not, neither one caring anymore.

Their mouths parted briefly as they caught their breath. Both gasped like fish on dry land as they held onto each other, Kirk wishing he could see his lover’s face in the darkness. He gasped louder as he felt a moist, hot cock being pressed between his legs. He squeezed his thighs together, causing Spock to groan with pleasure as he felt his sensitive organ being pressed between the muscular limbs. He started thrusting his cock repeatedly between Kirk’s legs.

Kirk was sobbing with pleasure as he felt himself being loved by the man he desired. It was so close to the way he really wanted it—so close! He raked his nails down Spock’s back, leaving long, green streaks, as he begged for more. 

Spock obliged him, pumping harder and faster between the delectable thighs as he gasped for breath. He could feel Kirk’s own erect organ brush against his stomach with each stroke. He longed to take that organ into his mouth and suck his friend to orgasm. For now, the combined friction of his own cock between Kirk’s legs and the rubbing of Kirk’s cockhead against Spock’s belly seemed to be having a happy effect upon them both. Hot semen spewed out from both cocks simultaneously.

Kirk’s cry of joy consisted of a single name: “Spock!” His mouth was taken in one last long kiss, before he was cradled protectively in loving arms and soothed by loving hands into a deep, peaceful sleep.

********     

When the sun rose above the little traveler’s shelter, Kirk and Spock were still wrapped around each other inside their humongous sleeping bag. Kirk’s fair head was tucked beneath Spock’s chin; the smell of his hair was the first thing Spock noticed as he woke up. He didn’t open his eyes right away, content to hold his lover and rub his face like a cat against the soft, sandy blond locks. Soon Kirk woke up and lifted his sleepy head to nuzzle him affectionately.

“Ouch! Prickles,” Kirk remarked as he encountered his lover’s bewhiskered chin. He kissed him anyway and lay happily in his arms while Spock cuddled him. Neither one seemed in a hurry to continue their journey to the shrine.

Spock was the first one to yield to the inevitable. “We must get up now, Jim,” he told him, caressing him tenderly before loosening his grip. “It will soon be too warm for us to lie so entangled.”

“Yeah, and I think we could both use a good wash.” Kirk rubbed his hand over his abdomen and felt the dried stickiness of their combined body fluids. “At least I know it wasn’t a dream this time.”

A surprised Spock looked into his lover’s hazel eyes. “Did you dream too, our first night together?”

Kirk met his lover’s dark-eyed gaze with one of equal surprise. “Yes, I dreamed of us making love. Don’t tell me you had the same dream?”

“I, too, dreamed of us being intimate. Yet we had no physical contact except through layers of clothing and bedding. How could our minds link together in sleep enough to share a dream?” A puzzled frown crossed Spock’s brow as he pondered this.

 “You did touch my face earlier that evening,” Kirk reminded him.

 “I am not that powerful a telepath, to initiate a mind meld from a single touch. Do you have psychic talents you failed to mention to me?”

 “No, according to my ESP rating I’m psi-null. Not even a latent talent.”

“Our minds must be unusually compatible, then, to be drawn together by such limited physical contact. Unless—” Spock’s gaze became distant as he went over the events of their first night together step by step. “Jim, we both drank the tea, didn’t we?”

“That herbal tea you made after supper? Yes, I liked it much better than the soup,” Kirk admitted.

“Jim, that was _kira’seth_ tea,” Spock informed him gravely. “In small doses _kira’seth_ acts as a soporific and an aid to digestion. But in larger doses it has the ability to lower psychic barriers and make one more susceptible to dreams and visions.”

“Does it affect humans differently from Vulcans?”

“Yes, it has a much stronger effect on humans. Some humans drink copious amounts of _kira’seth_ tea in order to induce euphoria. Most of them experience bizarre hallucinations and a distorted sense of reality, while others claim to have received brief glimpses of future events. Even those with no discernible psychic talents were able to hear the thoughts of others, humans and Vulcans, while under the influence of _kira’seth_.” 

“So you think this-—stuff,” Kirk didn’t dare try to pronounce the Vulcan word, “would have opened my mind to yours?”

“If our minds are as compatible as I believe they are, and if we both experienced the same level of attraction to each other that I felt upon seeing you for the first time.” Spock caressed the human’s face, now less painful since the sunburn had started to heal. “Will you let me meld with you so that I may be certain?”

“Why not? You’ve already seen every other part of me,” Kirk said with a grin. “Might as well show you my mind, too.”

Spock laid his right hand on Kirk’s left cheek and spread his fingers to cover the meld points. “Your mind to my mind, my mind to yours,” he said softly. “Our minds are merging, becoming one...”

Kirk felt as if he were falling asleep again as he lay looking into Spock’s depthless dark eyes, listening to the sound of his deep voice. The next thing he knew, he was back on the ledge where he had fallen off the trail, calling frantically for help. He heard Spock’s voice above him, asking where he was. He called out to him and felt a shadow fall across his face as the Vulcan leaned over to look down at him. He re-experienced the relief he felt at the sight of another being who could help him, as well as the fear when he couldn’t quite reach Spock’s helping hand and had to stand still, keeping his hand held out while Spock reached for him. He relived the rush of excitement at the moment their hands met, the thrill it gave him to be pulled up easily and held briefly in strong arms before being led to the stone ledge, deposited gently there and given water.

He also found himself sharing Spock’s feelings of sympathy at the sight of another being in distress, his fear of losing him as he reached for the human’s desperately groping hand, his relief as their hands finally met and clasped. As Spock hauled him back up to the trail and held him for a few moments, Kirk was astounded to feel how strongly Spock was attracted to him at that moment. All through the conversation that followed, both men were surprised to discover how intense their feelings of attraction for one another had been, how carefully masked beneath their courteous words.

As Spock gently dissolved the mind meld, Kirk “woke up” and found himself looking into depthless dark eyes once more. “Spock, I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you love me, as I love you,” Spock told him.

“I do love you.” Their mouths met in a tender kiss, which soon became passionate as their bodies became aflame with desire once more. Kirk found himself pinned beneath a hard body again, with a hot, moist cock between his thighs. He started squeezing his thighs together again, urging Spock on with eager moans until he felt a gush of hot seminal fluid from his cock; it mingled with that coming from Spock’s as it spread between their tightly pressed bodies.

********  

The red sun had risen high in the sky by the time they resumed their journey. This time they walked side by side, Spock taking Kirk’s hand to help him over the rough spots in the trail as they climbed over rocks too big to move, went uphill to avoid a nursing _sehlat’s_ den and skirted another waterhole with a flesh-eating plant, the dried-up body of a _sehlat_ cub still in its leafy clutches. By the time they reached the traveler’s shelter that night, Kirk was too tired to help prepare supper. So Spock, after insisting that his lover rest, did it by himself. Afterwards they slept together inside their joined bedrolls. They didn’t make love, due to Kirk’s fatigue, but they held each other close and kept each other warm all night long.

 So it went for five days, some easier than others, until they finally arrived at the opposite side of the mountains. The way to the shrine was lined with tombs; every period of Vulcan’s history was represented, from the simple stone cairns of the great prehistoric chiefs to roughly carved mausoleums filled with the remains of entire families slaughtered during the bloody wars of the Pre-Reform Period.

Spock’s family vault was located at the end of the Avenue of Tombs, a beautiful monument of white stone with nine steps leading up to a double door with two pillars in front, looking more like a mansion for the living than a house for the dead. Kirk and Spock stood side by side on the top step of the vault, the afternoon sun warm on their backs. Kirk’s head was tilted back as he studied the inscription chiseled over the doors, comparing the ancient High Vulcan characters to the few modern Vulcan characters he was familiar with. Spock was staring silently at the doors, studying the names carved there, from the founder of his house to his father’s father, who was next to last on the right hand side. Right below his grandfather’s name was a blank space reserved for that of his father.

 _*When my father is laid to rest, it shall be my task to have a new pair of doors made, with space to add my name and the names of my descendants. If I have any.*_ He looked aside tenderly at his wide-eyed human lover, staring up at the immense white doors with awe. A brief pang of regret overcame the joy he felt in Kirk’s presence.

_*If I offer him the warrior’s bond which is traditional between male lovers, my father shall be the last male of our line to be buried here. I will have no son to bury me. Ah, but to be with Jim, to join Starfleet and see other worlds, add to my knowledge and use it to benefit my world and all the other worlds of the Federation—is that not worth a space in the family tomb?*_

He thought of his promised bride T’Pring, how coldly she had greeted him at the last family gathering, and shuddered inwardly at the thought of having to lie with her every night for the rest of his life. _*If I marry T’Pring, I shall be assured of my place in the family tomb, as well as in the rolls of honor at the Academy. But my life shall be as cold and sterile as the labs in which I will toil, regardless of how many offspring she may bear.*_

_“Can I come in with you?” Kirk’s beloved voice penetrated his thoughts. Spock looked down to see Kirk smiling hopefully up at him._

 “No, Jim, you must wait outside,” Spock told him gently. “It is forbidden for anyone but the next of kin to enter a family tomb. When I am done paying homage here, I must enter the shrine alone as well.”

 Kirk sighed in resignation. “Okay, I’ll wait for you outside. Is there a traveler’s shelter or should we set up camp?”

 “It is forbidden to camp on holy ground. We must go to the Cleansing Cave.”

 “Where is that?”

 “At the end of the Avenue of Tombs.” Spock pointed to a cave in the mountainside, where a cloud of steam could be seen drifting from an opening on top like smoke from a chimney. “It has a bathing pool built over a hot spring, so that pilgrims may cleanse themselves before entering the shrine. There are also private cubicles for sleeping. You may share a bath and a sleeping space with me, but you may not enter the shrine itself, because you are human.”

 “You mean to tell me that after coming all this way with you, sharing your meals and your bed, I can’t enter the shrine with you just because I’m human?” Kirk demanded indignantly.

 “You are not the only human to find this unjust. But I fear it is our law. Even those with human bondmates dare not bring them over the threshold of T’Vet’s shrine. The unseen guardians will not tolerate the presence of anyone who is not of Vulcan blood.”

 “Can’t we appeal to them to make an exception, just this once?” Kirk pleaded.

 “I fear our words would be in vain, even though you are as fair-spoken as you are fair-faced.”

 Kirk couldn’t help but smile. “At least I know that I appeal to you.”

 “Always.” Spock tilted Kirk’s chin up for a brief kiss. “Come, Jim, we must make haste. I wish to enter the shrine at sundown, so I must complete the cleansing and make the requisite homage to my ancestors before then.” He headed for the Cleansing Cave with Kirk at his side.

********     

They had the Cleansing Cave to themselves; no other pilgrims occupied the curtained-off cubicles carved out of the rock, nor were any to be found in the bathing pool built over the hot spring. The air was pleasantly warm and the cave well-lit by a series of electronic torches along the walls, the only modern touch in an otherwise traditional setting. After depositing their belongings in a roomy cubical with a wide sleeping shelf, obviously intended for two, they made a beeline for the pool, bringing soap, towels, and all their dirty clothing as well.                                                

Kirk remained at the shallow end washing their clothes so that Spock could bathe without being distracted by the close proximity of his lover. But Kirk couldn’t help sneaking peeks at him as he bathed. The electronic torches cast a soft yellow glow over Spock’s body. He seemed to be all muscle and sinew, long-limbed, slender, with a layer of fine, dark hair on his chest, arms, and legs. Kirk was able to look all he wanted at the beloved body he had only seen by firelight and early morning sunlight, at least while Spock was standing in shallow water. When he waded further out and ducked under to rinse himself, Kirk was tempted to swim out to him. But he remembered that Spock wanted to enter the shrine at sunset; if Kirk delayed him, he wouldn’t have enough time to pay proper homage to his ancestors. So he went back to doing the laundry, scrubbing vigorously at the semen stain on his underwear.

 When Kirk was finished, he took the clothes back to their cubicle and spread them out to dry on top of their joined bedrolls, which had been spread out on the sleeping shelf. The waterproof outer lining would keep the bedrolls dry inside, and the warm air inside the cave would soon dry out the newly washed clothing. Then he went back to the pool, where he found Spock toweling himself off next to the wooden bench where his clean clothes were laid out.

 “Please wait for me in here, Jim,” Spock avoided looking at him as he got dressed. “It is always warm inside the Cleansing Cave, so you will not need to build a fire. Unless you wish to prepare a meal.”

 “How long do you expect to be?” Kirk stood in the entrance less than five feet away with a towel around his waist, staring hungrily at the Vulcan while he dressed. Spock could sense his desire even across the short distance that separated them, so he took care to maintain the distance between them.

“This is not something that can be rushed through, Jim,” he said as he pulled on his underwear. “First I must pay my respects at my ancestral tomb, where I must make contact with the _katras_ of my forebears. Once I have their approval, only then may I enter the shrine and look upon the goddess herself.”

“You mean there’s a sacred image inside that only those who are found worthy may look upon?”

“It is not just an image, Jim. It is built over the exact center of the planet, drawing upon the electromagnetic current of its volcanic core. The very life force of our world resides in that ancient, sacred image.” Spock paused to put on his pilgrim’s robe, a long, loose, hooded garment of cream-colored wool. As he was pulling it over his head, Kirk crossed the few feet that divided them; the stone floor felt warm beneath his bare feet, worn smooth by the feet of countless pilgrims in ages past. When Spock’s head emerged from the top of the robe, he found the nearly naked human standing before him, blocking his path to the pool’s entrance and the cave’s mouth beyond, his face only inches away.

“Must you go right now?” Kirk murmured longingly. “Can’t we spend some time together first?”

 “No, Jim, I am sorry,” Spock told him gently as he belted the robe around him. “In order to focus clearly during meditation, I must refrain from food, drink, and other worldly pleasures. Including our bed.”

Kirk looked disappointed. “You mean I don’t even get a kiss before you go?”

 Spock couldn’t help smiling. “As long as that is all that you require.” He leaned down to touch his lips briefly to the beloved human’s.

Kirk leaned into the kiss, trying to tempt him into staying. For a fleeting moment, Spock’s human side was tempted to do so. But his Vulcan side won out and he was able to take Kirk by the shoulders and put him gently aside. “Wait for me, _T’hy’la_ ,” he told him in a somewhat unsteady voice. “I shall have need of food and warmth when I return.”

 “It’ll be ready,” Kirk said huskily. “So will I.”

 Spock raised an amused eyebrow at him before he walked away, pulling up the hood of his robe over his damp, black head as he went.

********      

After Spock left, Kirk got dressed and passed the time by reading a history of the shrine by candlelight. Sarek had given him a copy of the book, recently translated into Federation Standard English by his wife. Ordinarily Kirk enjoyed historical studies, but between the book’s small type and the overly warm atmosphere of the Cleansing Cave, he found it hard to concentrate. After nodding off for the third time, he put the book aside and started preparing a meal for Spock’s return.

 By the time the meal was ready, the laundry was dry. After folding and putting it away, he ate his portion and put the rest aside for Spock. He tried reading again, but his attention kept wandering from the printed page to his wrist chronometer. He also kept listening for footsteps on the other side of their cubicle’s curtain. Finally he threw down the book, pushed aside the curtain and strode to the mouth of the cave, where he looked out into the night. 

The darkness was complete; T’Khut the sister planet, which served Vulcan as a moon, was in shadow tonight, her greenish glow subdued. There was just enough light for Kirk to make out the various tombs arrayed in an orderly line across from the Cleansing Cave. If one didn’t know they were tombs, one could easily mistake them for houses.

 _*Houses of the Holy,*_ Kirk thought, remembering the Vulcan term for them. _*The final resting places of the honored dead.*_ He wasn’t superstitious, but the sight of all those tombs out there in the dark, without a single living soul in sight, was giving him the willies. _*Where the hell is Spock? What’s taking him so long?*_ He looked at his chronometer; the glowing dial said 2100 hours. He wondered if there was some kind of lengthy religious ritual pilgrims had to undergo before they were permitted into the presence of the goddess image.

 He stared at the shrine in the distance, a surprisingly small building of weathered gray stone slabs, resembling the traveler’s shelters he and Spock had slept in along the way. The only difference was that the roof was stone, not thatch. The primitive structure stood apart from the tombs, in the center of a circle of standing stones, which seemed to form a protective fence around it. It reminded Kirk of Stonehenge, the ancient rock formation on Salisbury Plain in Old Britain on Earth. _*If humans weren’t forbidden to enter the shrine, I’d go in there after him!*_

A cold wind blew into the cave mouth, making him shiver. He decided he’d be better off inside and went back to the cubicle to wait. After banking the fire, he stripped down to his underwear and crawled into their bedroll, where he read by candlelight until he fell asleep.

He was awakened long after midnight by the sound of dragging footsteps. The candle had burned down, but even in the dark he was able to find the entrance to their cubicle, pushing aside the curtain at the doorway before Spock had reached it. The greeting died on his lips when he saw how Spock looked. The Vulcan stumbled into his arms and sagged at the knees as if he were drunk. Kirk had to hold him up. “Spock, where’s wrong?” he asked as he held him close.

“I am tired, Jim,” Spock managed to whisper. “And I am cold. So cold.”

“You _are_ cold!” Kirk exclaimed, feeling how chilled he was through the thin woolen robe. “My God, you’re like ice!” He led Spock inside and helped him to sit on the bed. He built up the fire to reheat Spock’s portion of their supper. While it was reheating, he lit a new candle and chafed Spock’s hands and bare feet. “How did you get so cold?” he asked as he kneaded the chilled flesh.

“I have been kneeling in a meditative trance for 7.2 hours,” Spock explained hoarsely. “I was able to slow my heartbeat and respiration so that I could remain in that position indefinitely, keeping my mind open to whatever vision I might receive, whenever it pleased T’Vet to send it. 

“Did she do so?”

 Spock was a long time answering, staring at his lap as he tried to formulate a suitable reply. Finally he said, “Yes, I have my answer.”

“Well, I hope it was worth it.” Kirk wrapped his jacket around Spock and poured him a cup of hot soup. As Spock accepted it, he seemed to look at Kirk with great sadness. “What is it?” Kirk asked, disturbed by the melancholy in his lover’s eyes.

“It is nothing, _T’hy’la_. I am simply fatigued by my prolonged meditation.” Spock sipped his soup and kept his eyes downcast, avoiding Kirk’s worried eyes. He longed to share the vision he had received with his lover, but a lifetime of training at keeping his feelings to himself prevented him from doing so. How could he possibly tell Jim that the goddess had shown him two paths down which his life’s road might run, one on Vulcan with T’Pring and one in Starfleet with Jim, and had left him to decide which path to walk?

Kirk sensed that Spock was keeping something from him. He longed to know what it was, but courtesy kept him from asking. _*It probably has something to do with that vision he received in the shrine. Maybe there’s a taboo against discussing it.*_ He suppressed his curiosity and concentrated on warming Spock, urging more soup on him, washing his cold face, hands and feet with hot water from the spring and putting warm socks on his feet.

 Spock allowed himself to be pampered because he was so tired and because he sensed that it gave his lover pleasure to do so, but it made him uncomfortable to see Jim waiting on him. _*It is demeaning for a man like Jim to play servant to a man who is not his bondmate. Such a man deserves a warrior’s bond. If I give T’Pring what he ought to have, he will never have it. But if I give it to him, then T’Pring will be insulted. Not only she, but her entire clan might take offense. It will certainly not do the negotiations any good, if T’Pring’s family thinks that I rejected her for a human. Would they believe me if I told them I was thinking of canceling the marriage contract long before I met Jim?*_ He would have liked to think that T’Pring and her family were logical enough not to blame Jim, but there were bound to be hard feelings beneath their veneer of courtesy and pragmatism. And his father would suffer the repercussions.

  _*I cannot allow my personal feelings to jeopardize the negotiations. Perhaps if I delay the wedding until after the treaty is signed?*_ But he did not know how much longer it would take to finalize the treaty. He did know that if he delayed too long, T’Pring would become suspicious. _*She is bound to suspect that I prefer another, if I keep advancing our wedding day the longer the negotiations stretch out. I could always say that I am assisting my father, but she knows my duties at the Academy frequently conflict with my father’s schedule.*_ He looked fondly at the back of Jim’s fair head as the human bent to his task, putting warm socks on Spock’s bare feet.

“You are too good to me, Jim,” he told him. “It is really not necessary for you to do this.”

 Kirk looked up at him and smiled. “I’d do anything for you,” he said, eyes shining, before laying his head in Spock’s lap.

 Spock immediately took the fair head between his hands and lifted it back up. “Jim, you mustn’t do that,” he told him earnestly.

 “Why not?” Kirk stared up at him, amber eyes wide with bewilderment.

 “Because you are my _T’hy’la,_ not my slave. _T’hy’lai_ is a relationship of equals, not of slave and master. It is bad enough that you demean yourself with such menial tasks as I can do for myself.”

“But you can’t do them for yourself right now, can you?” Kirk reminded him. “You’re too tired. So why shouldn’t I help you out? I don’t consider it slavish or demeaning to wait on you when you’re too tired to do anything for yourself.” He laid his head on Spock’s lap again, relaxing against him in a position of complete surrender. “You still feel so cold,” he murmured as he snuggled against him. “Why don’t you take me to bed now? Let me warm you all over?”

Shocked and aroused by Jim’s forwardness, Spock did the only thing he could do; he held him very close for a time, then kissed him for a much longer time. When they finally came up for air, Spock managed to say hoarsely, “Let’s go to bed.” 

********    

Morning found the lovers still wrapped around each other in their huge sleeping bag. Finding themselves glued together belly to belly by their dried bodily fluids, Spock suggested a bath, to which Kirk agreed enthusiastically. Gathering up soap and towels, they headed for the bathing pool.

 They waded out to waist level before they started scrubbing. While they washed each other’s backs, Kirk took advantage of the opportunity to indulge in some aquatic horseplay, grabbing and fondling Vulcan body parts under the pretext of washing them. Spock’s scoldings did little to discourage him. When Kirk got a little too rough, Spock grabbed him and pushed him underwater, holding him under until Kirk managed to wriggle free. He came up gasping for air to find Spock on the other side of the pool, calmly washing his hair.

An indignant Kirk dived underwater again, swam up to Spock and pulled him under. Spock not only managed to break free, but as they rose from the water he lifted Kirk over his head and threw him into the deeper end of the pool. Kirk swam back and pulled him under again, but was forced to loosen his grip when Spock squeezed him in a very vulnerable area. He tried to swim away, but Spock caught him and held him fast.

“Such unmannerly conduct as yours deserves punishment,” Spock told him as he struggled to break free.

“So what are you gonna do about it?” Kirk taunted him.

“Teach you a lesson you will never forget.” Spock carried him over to the shallow end and deposited him face down on the edge of the pool. Kirk tried to climb out, but Spock held him down so he was half in and half out of the water. He then reached under and began fondling Kirk the same way that Kirk had been fondling him.

Kirk stopped trying so hard to escape. He rested his forearms on the sandy bank of the pool and laid his head on them, moaning happily as Spock masturbated him. Eventually his hips began to jerk forward as he approached the edge of climax. Spock immediately let go of his organ and began fondling his butt instead. “Spooock!” the human whined in frustration. Spock ignored him and kept stroking his buttocks, occasionally slapping them as well. The way that Kirk jumped and whimpered whenever the Vulcan spanked him was very satisfactory. When he started running his finger along the length of the crack between his cheeks, Kirk moaned in anticipation. He wasn’t expecting to be penetrated by anything bigger than a finger.

Spock did work his index finger into the puckered pink opening very carefully, using a little soap to ease the way. The rectal muscles tightened and relaxed with each stroke, gripping the finger like a tiny cock. “That’s good, Spock,” Kirk moaned. “Oh God, that’s good!”

Spock stopped long enough to moisten his fingers with more soap and slid two fingers into his lover. The human’s first response was to clench his rectal muscles tighter, then loosen them to admit both fingers. “That feels better,” he informed Spock.

“Do you want more?” Spock asked.

 “Yes, yes!”

 “I have more to give you. It may be more than you can take,” Spock warned him.

 Kirk guessed at once what he had in mind. “I can take it. I’ve done it before. Come on, Spock, give it to me, please!” His voice was harsh with longing.

The Vulcan removed his hand and used it to lubricate the head of his slender, green organ with soap, then used both hands to keep Kirk’s cheeks spread while he inserted his cock into the thoroughly stretched opening. Kirk’s brief, harsh cry frightened him for a moment; he thought he was hurting his lover.

But Kirk was more surprised than hurt. Up until now, their lovemaking had consisted of friction, mutual masturbation and oral sex. To finally have the powerful Vulcan inside him was like a dream come true. He’d been longing to be taken this way since they met. But it had been a long time since he’d been taken by a man, so a bit of pain was inevitable. He lay beneath Spock moaning and whimpering while the Vulcan lay perfectly still, resisting the urge to start thrusting until Kirk said he could. 

“Are you all right, Jim?” Spock asked anxiously. “Do you wish me to withdraw?”

 “No, no!” Kirk panted. “I’m all right. I just have to get used to this. It’s been a long time...”

 Spock could feel his lover’s rectal muscles tightening and relaxing around his cock, which was very exciting. He kissed the nape of Kirk’s neck and hugged him tight, encouraging him to relax and accept him.

 The pain gradually diminished to a dull throb. Kirk decided now was as good a time as any. “Fuck me now, Spock,” he said hoarsely. “Fuck me nice and slow.”

Spock did as he was told, withdrawing until only the head of his cock was inside Kirk’s ass, then pushing back in until it was sheathed to the root. Twinges of pain/pleasure accompanied his efforts, making Kirk cry aloud with joy and pain. Resting his weight on his arms, Kirk pushed back against his lover’s cock, urging him on wordlessly, begging to be taken and possessed by the stronger man.

Being inside him was such a thrill for Spock, he tried to hold back his climax for as long as possible so he could enjoy the pleasure of loving Jim and watching him enjoy his loving. But his inexperience made him come sooner than he expected. At least he had the satisfaction of watching Jim come first. The human writhed beneath him, crying out as if in pain. His cry echoed off the stony roof of the bathing chamber, causing the stalactites over their heads to vibrate. Spock couldn’t hold back a brief, joyous cry of his own as he came inside his lover’s luscious ass.

Afterwards they moved to a deeper part of the pool and sat soaking in hot water up to their necks. They dozed off with Kirk’s head nestled on Spock’s shoulder and Spock’s arm wrapped around him lovingly. Eventually they were awakened by the sound of other pilgrims entering the Cleansing Cave.

“We should get out now, Jim,” Spock murmured in his ear. “Other people will want to use the pool too.”

“Yes, I think we’d better get out before we turn into prunes,” Kirk agreed.

They swam back to the shallow end where they had left their towels. After drying off and donning them, they returned to their cubicle, where they dressed and ate breakfast. Afterwards they packed up their gear and left. On their way out, they found half a dozen other Vulcans had moved into the adjoining cubicles. Some of them called out greetings as they passed. Spock answered them courteously, giving the split-fingered Vulcan salute with his right hand as he did so. Kirk, whose Vulcan was not fluent, wisely kept silent, simply nodding his head politely in response to the pilgrims’ greetings.

Once they were outside in the sunlight, Kirk asked, “What were they saying? I recognized one phrase as ‘Live long and prosper,’ but what was the other?”

“Merely the traditional greeting of all pilgrims, ‘May T’Vet succor you,’” Spock explained. “They have all come here hoping for a vision that will help them to decide the course of their lives—-as have I.”

 “I don’t suppose you care to talk about it?” Kirk asked hopefully as they strolled toward the Avenue of Tombs.

 “I am sorry, Jim, but it is forbidden to discuss a vision with anyone else. One must decipher it privately and use the knowledge gained to resolve whatever problem sent one here.”

 Kirk shrugged. “Okay, fine. Don’t bother telling me. I’m only the man who shares your bed. What gives me the right to interfere in your life?”

 Spock could see that beneath his sarcastic mien, Kirk was hurt by his refusal to confide in him. Despite his inexperience in romantic matters, he knew that lovers were supposed to confide in each other. But he also knew that it would not be logical to tell Jim he had to choose between a life with him and a life with T’Pring. Otherwise the human might try to influence Spock’s decision in his favor. He knew Jim Kirk well enough by now to know that he was an honorable man, but he was, after all, only human, and might not be able to help himself. “Forgive me, Jim, but this is my problem. I see no reason to bother you with it.”

  _What am I supposed to say to that?*_ Kirk wondered. _*’Please bother me, that’s what I’m here for’? If Bones were here he’d probably say, ‘Damn it, Jim, you’re his lover, not his therapist! Why should he tell you everything?’”_ So he kept quiet, turning his head away so that Spock wouldn’t see how hurt he was. Seeing the shrine off in the distance to his left, he stopped to look at it, shading his eyes with his hand as he gazed at it in the midst of the tall, standing stones. “Is it permitted to take photographs?” he asked.

“Only from the outside,” Spock told him. “You may approach within twenty paces to do so. But you may not photograph the interior, not even through an open door or window, nor are you permitted to photograph any of the attendants if you should see them unveiled.”  

“Why not?”

“Because they are known as the unseen guardians. No one must know what they look like. The sacred mysteries they guard must also remain secret, known only to other Vulcans. This is why no human can ever set foot inside the shrine.”

“What about Vulcans with human blood?” Kirk challenged him. “I know there must be some of those. Ambassador Sarek can’t be the only Vulcan with a human mate, after forty years. What if a Vulcan who was half human tried to enter the shrine?”

“I am sure that one would be permitted to enter, provided he or she had first been found worthy by the ancestral _katras_ of their clan.” Spock avoided looking at Kirk as he said this, ashamed that he must continue to be less than honest with his lover.

 Kirk shrugged off this reference to Vulcan mysticism as easily as he shrugged off the pack from his shoulders. After some digging, he found his tri-di camera at the bottom, next to his communicator. He snapped a long-range view of the shrine before moving in closer, followed closely by Spock. When he got within twenty paces of the shrine, he felt a firm hand laid on his shoulder.

 “This is as far as you can go, Jim,” Spock warned him.

 Kirk complied, circling the small, stone edifice as he snapped pictures from the front, back, and sides. No windows had been left open, much to his secret disappointment, and the back door, which had been opened for ventilation, had a black curtain hung before it which did not ripple in the breeze, suggesting it was weighed at the bottom. A couple of veiled priestesses emerged from the front door, wearing long, white, sleeveless gowns embroidered in gold and gold headpieces with two thin, carved crystals on top that looked like horns. They kept their eyes cast down as they passed, so Kirk couldn’t tell if they were pretty. He did notice that they both had lovely legs, easily seen through the thigh-high slits on either side of their long gowns, as well as long, shining black hair that fell past their hips.

“It looks like they haven’t cut their hair since childhood,” Kirk remarked as he watched the retreating priestesses.

 “They haven’t,” said Spock. “It is one of the rules of their order. Candidates are dedicated at the age of seven. They may live with their families until the age of fourteen, after which they are sent to the retreat at Gol to learn the sacred mysteries. After they are ordained, they are sent here to serve the shrine for a year at a time.”

“Where do they go after the year is up?”

“Back to Gol, or to serve at temples attached to various _Koon-ut-Kali-fee_. That is, places of marriage or challenge, where public bonding ceremonies take place.”

“Bondings can be held in private, can’t they?” Kirk looked at him with longing in his eyes as he spoke.

“Yes,” said Spock, looking at him the same way. “A private bonding between two mature adults is the legal equivalent of a common law marriage on Vulcan.” _*Provided neither of the two parties has been bonded in childhood to another. T’hy’la, how can I offer you what we both long for when I am promised to another?*_ He kept his face impassive so that Jim wouldn’t see his anguish.

“Does bonding take place automatically the first time two people are—intimate?” The longing in Kirk’s amber eyes was now joined by hope.

“Not usually. A spontaneous bonding is possible, but very rare. It occurs most often when the couple is compatible mentally as well as physically. In other words, their minds must meet before their bodies do.”

Kirk moved a little closer to him. “Do you find my mind compatible?” he asked, looking anxiously into his lover’s dark eyes.

“I find your mind to be the second most attractive thing about you,” Spock assured him solemnly.

Kirk grinned. “So you don’t just love me for my body?”

 “It is impossible to love one more than the other. They are, as you humans say, a package deal.”

 Kirk moved closer still and put his arms around the slender waist. “So you like my package, do you?” he teased.

 “It is a most attractive package,” Spock agreed, taking him by the shoulders and pulling him closer.

“So is yours.” Kirk kissed him, leaning on him shamelessly. Spock didn’t seem to mind. The dry desert winds blew on and around them as they stood holding and kissing each other in broad daylight, right outside the most sacred place on Vulcan.

Spock’s keen hearing soon picked up the sound of approaching footsteps coming down the mountain trail. More pilgrims coming to pay their respects at their ancestral tombs before seeking the wisdom of T’Vet. Releasing his lover, he said, “Come, _T’hy’la_ , let us be off. There will be time enough for love when we reach the shelter tonight.”

 Sighing regretfully, Kirk shouldered his pack and fell in step beside him. By the time the other pilgrims came in sight on the Avenue of Tombs, all they saw were two men walking away from the shrine, treading the dusty path back towards the mountains. Obviously fellow pilgrims on their return journey, nothing unusual about them, except for the fact that one was human and the other Vulcan. As they passed each other, several of the pilgrims called out the traditional greetings. Spock replied in kind; Kirk stuck to polite nods and a quick flash of the Vulcan salute

********  

The return journey was uneventful. Now that he knew what to expect, Kirk no longer grumbled about the stony path underfoot, the predators and flesh-eating plants that impeded their progress, the frequent dust storms during the day or the bone-chilling cold at night. He had Spock to get him through all these things, especially the cold nights. They seldom spoke to each other during the day, both preferring to simply enjoy one another’s company on the long road home. At night when they sat beside the fire in the shelter, Kirk would tell Spock more of his adventures in Starfleet, hinting strongly that Spock should enlist upon their return to ShiKhar so that they need not be separated.

 Spock was on the horns of a dilemma. Should he tell his cherished friend that there was no future for them together, that honor required him to go through with his arranged marriage? Or return to ShiKhar and inform his parents that he wished to cancel the marriage contract so that he could bond with a human male he had just met? He cringed inside at the thought of Sarek’s icy disapproval and his mother’s dismay, to say nothing of the probable reaction of T’Pring’s family. He managed to keep his feelings hidden from Jim during the day, but he could not hide them from himself at night. When they lay together by the banked fire, sharing love and warmth, it took every ounce of Vulcan discipline he had not to divulge his problem to Jim and tell him of the terrible decision he had to make, the choice between love and duty. 

 _*How can I live without you, Jim?*_ Spock lamented silently on their last night together as he held him close. _*But how can I live without my family, for I will surely be disowned if I choose you over T’Pring. Even if my father did not disown me, I do not wish to be the cause of a feud between my clan and T’Pring’s.*_

Feuds were seldom settled by armed combat nowadays, but things could become extremely awkward for Sarek on the ruling council if the other members started taking sides, with either the jilted bride or the ambassador’s half-human son and his human bondmate. Even the more conservative members would not object to Jim’s sex; same sex bondings were a part of Vulcan’s ancient warrior tradition, retained along with a great many other customs after the Peace of Surak. It was Jim’s race they would find objectionable. They barely tolerated Sarek’s human bondmate; how would they respond to Spock’s?

Tomorrow they would reach the end of the Pilgrim’s Trail by noon. Jim intended to beam up to his ship from the foot of the mountain, while Spock proceeded toward the city. He wished he could take Jim home with him, but then the difficulty of how to present him to his parents would arise. Fortunately Jim’s duties as a Starfleet officer necessitated his immediate return to the ship, so that he could prepare for the resumption of the treaty talks on the following day. That gave Spock one more day to make his decision. Who would it be, Jim or T’Pring?

As Spock lay stroking the sandy blond head of his sleeping lover, he found himself wishing he had never left home, never gone upon this pilgrimage of self-discovery. If only he had suppressed the curiosity of his human side, maintained his cool Vulcan pragmatism and resigned himself to his marriage. If only he had learned not to feel, not to care about anything except pure logic, dedication to science and familial duty. _*If only I didn’t love you so much, Jim. I would part from you without regret if this was only the heat of pon farr. But this is more than just body heat; it is a need and a longing, almost madness...*_

Jim stirred beneath Spock’s stroking hand. He murmured his lover’s name in his sleep, a contented smile on his face. Spock pulled him closer and lay holding him tenderly. _*Whatever I decide, I will always remember this, our last night together in the mountains. The night I first realized how much I truly loved you.*_   He drifted into a troubled sleep, still holding Jim close

********    

The next day, as they were coming down the mountain trail together, with Spock leading the way, they paused at the place where they had met. As they stood contemplating the stone ledge overhanging the trail where Spock had first seen Jim’s pack, he felt the human’s arm encircle his waist and squeeze affectionately.

“‘What a long, strange trip it’s been’, eh?” Kirk said, quoting an ancient Terran ballad. “Now it’s almost over. If you’re not too busy tomorrow, would you meet me for lunch in ShiKhar?”

 “Yes, I will see you in ShiKhar,” Spock assured him, grateful to be facing away so that Jim couldn’t see the sadness on his face. Tomorrow his lover would find out his true identity, for he was expected to accompany Sarek to the final meeting of the council with the Federation ambassador. He had until tomorrow to reach a decision about whom to spend his life with.

 “I’ll miss you so much!” Spock felt Kirk’s warm breath on the side of his neck as the human gave Spock a hug. “It’s gonna feel like an eternity till I see you again.”

 Spock was so overcome by emotion, he couldn’t speak. He gently stroked the arm wrapped around his waist in front as he tried to think of something to say. When he couldn’t think of anything suitable, he gently loosened Jim’s grip so he could unwrap the affectionate arms from around him. “Come, Jim, we are wasting time here.”

 “No time that we spend together is wasted,” Kirk declared.

 “No, it isn’t,” Spock murmured, cherishing every single moment of their remaining time together.

 At last they reached the start of the Pilgrim’s Trail at the foot of the mountain, where they embraced each other one last time. “This is where we say goodbye,” Kirk whispered in one pointed ear. “But only for a while. I can’t wait to see you in ShiKhar tomorrow.”

 “Yes, you will see me in ShiKhar tomorrow,” Spock told him.

 If Kirk noticed the sadness in his voice as he said this, he put it down to sorrow at their parting. He was sad to be leaving too, but duty called and he could not spare the time it would take to accompany Spock back to the city. He had too many things to do to prepare for tomorrow’s final negotiations. So he gave Spock one last kiss, murmured, “Tomorrow, my love,” against his lips and stepped back. Pulling out his communicator, he pressed the automatic retrieval signal. He looked at Spock lovingly one last time before hearing the familiar hum of the transporter beam. As the world dissolved into colored sparkles around him, he thought he saw tears in Spock’s eyes.

********     

Doctor McCoy, in his high-collared blue dress uniform, leaned against the wall of the captain’s cabin, arms folded across his chest, watching his captain brushing his hair for the umpteenth time that morning. “For Pete’s sake, Jim, why don’t you get that cowlick cut?” he said impatiently.

“It’s short enough, Bones. I just need to brush it a little harder.” Kirk kept plying the brush against his freshly washed hair until he managed to tame the unruly lock into a semblance of decorum. When it finally lay flat against his forehead, he put down the brush and adjusted his gold dress uniform tunic, which had two of his many decorations pinned on the left breast. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

“About time, too!” McCoy pushed himself off the wall and followed the captain out of his cabin. “That fella you met in the mountains must be pretty special for you to go through all this trouble.”

“His name is Spock. And yes, he is very special.” Kirk had done nothing but talk about his new friend all through dinner last night in the Officers’ Mess. He’d taken more time than usual this morning over his showering and grooming, hoping he’d be able to coax Spock up to the ship for a brief tour and some afternoon delight when they met for lunch. As they headed for the transporter room, he had a smile on his lips and a spring in his step, looking forward to seeing his lover again.

Upon entering the transporter room, they found First Officer Gary Mitchell waiting there. Seeing Kirk, he did a double take and said in a surprised tone of voice, “Why, hello Captain! Did you finally decide to beam down after all? I’m _so_ relieved! The thought of having to charm all those Vulcans by myself was so overwhelming.”

“Watch it, Mister, or you’ll spend the rest of the day in the brig,” Kirk warned him, punching Mitchell’s arm playfully in passing. 

“Then who’ll mind the ship while you’re gone? I’m sure you have no intention of rushing back here when the conference ends. Your new friend lives in ShiKhar, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, he does.” Kirk couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he thought of Spock. He hadn’t yet told McCoy and Mitchell that Spock was more than just a friend.

“He must have a beautiful sister you’re dying to meet,” Mitchell speculated. “I’ve never seen you this excited over meeting a guy before.”

“Neither have I,” said McCoy as he stepped up on the transporter platform beside Kirk. “Can’t see why anybody would want to spend much time with a Vulcan outside of business. Oh, don’t get me wrong, they’re nice people. But this dedication to logic over emotion makes ‘em all look like cold fish to me.”

“They’re not all that way, Bones. Wait till you meet Spock, you’ll see.” “I’m looking forward to it.” The doctor and the captain stood at attention on the transporter platform as Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott checked the coordinates.

“All right, gents,” Scott announced. “Ready when you are.”

“Energize, Scotty,” said Kirk. Mitchell stood back from the platform as Scott delicately manipulated the controls. A high-pitched whine filled the air as McCoy and Kirk dissolved into two pillars of sparkling, multicolored light, then disappeared.

They rematerialized outside the gates of Pelasht, the great fortress in the heart of ShiKhar that was once a royal castle, and still served as Vulcan’s seat of government. The guards at the gates were purely ceremonial, but they weapons they carried were real, as was their ability to use them. After identifying themselves, the humans were admitted immediately. As they walked down the long hallway, the ancient stone walls, carved out of the volcanic basalt from which the whole fortress was formed, echoed back their footsteps. The hundreds of electronic torches driven into the walls did little to disburse the gloom, but at least it was cooler in here than it was outside in the red sun. At the end of the long hallway, outside the entrance to the Hall of Voices where debates were held, they saw a red-haired human male speaking to a much taller Vulcan male in black ceremonial robes, with a few other people standing nearby.

“There’s Ambassador Fox now,” said Kirk.

“And unless I’m mistaken, that’s Ambassador Sarek he’s talking to,” McCoy said. “Wonder where T’Pau is?”

“Surely you don’t expect the matriarch of all Vulcan to stand around chatting before an important event such as this?” Kirk asked with mock solemnity.

“My mistake. I forgot she ain’t as partial to Bob Fox’s company as she is to yours.”

Kirk laughed as they came up to the small group of people outside the Hall of Voices. Hearing him, Fox turned and smiled in greeting. “I’m glad to see you in such a good mood this morning, Captain,” he said. “From what Sarek tells me, we’ll all have reason to be cheerful after the final vote is taken.”

“Really?” Kirk turned his smile on the Vulcan ambassador.

Sarek greeted him with a nod. “Yes, Captain, I believe my people have finally overcome their millennia long distrust of all other races and are willing to consider membership in the Federation. But we shall not know for sure until the final vote is taken.”

“I hope it won’t be long, sir. You know my ship’s surgeon, Doctor McCoy.” McCoy bowed with the Southern gallantry he usually reserved for pretty women.

Sarek acknowledged him with another nod. “A pleasure to meet you again, Doctor. And I am sure you gentlemen remember my wife, Amanda.” He held out two fingers to a small human woman with upswept gray hair and a beauty that had survived the years. She smiled as she came forward to touch her fingers to her husband’s, the skirt of her long, blue gown sweeping the floor behind her. McCoy’s bow to her was much more gallant, causing her to smile more widely. 

“Good morning, Doctor.” She turned her smile on Kirk. “Good morning to you too, Captain Kirk.”

“Madam.” Kirk nodded and smiled pleasantly. His attention was caught by someone directly behind Amanda, a Vulcan male in black trousers and gold-embroidered red tunic, with his head down. Kirk couldn’t see his face well in the dim light.

Sarek continued his introductions. “And this is our son Spock, who will be assisting me today.”

The younger Vulcan raised his head and Kirk saw his face. It was _his_ Spock. There was no mistaking that face, the look of longing in the dark eyes that now held such despair as well. Kirk was so surprised he couldn’t say a word. He just stood there with his mouth open, staring.

“Do you know each other?” he heard Sarek’s voice saying from somewhere far away.

“Yes, Father,” Spock replied. “We met on the Pilgrim’s Trail in the mountains.” He met Kirk’s eyes again and begged him silently not to reveal the true nature of their relationship.

 Kirk shut his gaping mouth and said quickly, “Yes, that’s where we met.” He gave Spock a puzzled look in return that said, _*What is this? Why didn’t you tell me who your parents were?*_

McCoy didn’t miss a single look that passed between them, but he wisely kept quiet. __*If this here Vulcan is Jim’s friend, as well as the ambassador’s son, he must have some good reason not to have told Jim who his father was. And I’d sure like to hear it as much as Jim would!*__ McCoy scowled at the presumptuous Vulcan he suspected of toying with his friend’s affections. He knew from the captain’s confidential psychiatric profile that he was bisexual, and he hadn’t needed to be told that Jim was in love with Spock; he kept giving himself away last night with every word he said, every expression of delight that crossed his face whenever he mentioned Spock. He hoped Gary Mitchell hadn’t picked up on the nonverbal clues and body language; that boy was a little too macho to be comfortable with the idea of his best friend being in love with another man. It didn’t look as if Sarek would be any too happy either about his son choosing to love another man. Maybe that was why Spock hadn’t been completely honest with Jim?

A gong sounded from within the Hall of Voices. “The council is ready,” Sarek announced. “We must take our seats. Spock, please escort your mother and our guests to the visitor’s gallery before you join us on the podium.”

“Yes, Father.” Spock dutifully led his mother and the two Starfleet officers into the room toward a long row of padded wooden benches. The benches, which circled the entire room, were already packed with interested observers from every part of the planet, as well as representatives from other UFP members, but a section of them had been looped off and marked “Reserved”. Kirk followed close behind Spock and Amanda, McCoy at his side, a grave look of concern on the doctor’s face to match the bewildered one on Kirk’s.

 

As soon as Amanda, Kirk and McCoy had been seated in the reserved section, Spock excused himself and headed for the podium without looking back. By now Kirk’s initial shock was starting to wear off, but he still couldn’t think of what to say to Spock. Even if he could, he wouldn’t have dared to say it in front of Spock’s mother. So he put a lid on his feelings, telling himself, _*I’ve got to keep control. I can’t get emotionally distraught in front of these people, there’s too much at stake. The last thing the Federation needs is to have this treaty fall through because a Starfleet captain made an emotional scene before the entire Vulcan ruling council.*_

That was his head speaking. His heart kept crying, _ _ __*Spock, why didn’t you tell me who you were? Why did you let me find out this way? You said you loved me as much as I loved you. Why couldn’t you be honest with me?*____

“Are you okay, Jim?” he heard McCoy say softly in his left ear. He turned his head to see his old friend regarding him with some concern.

 “I’m fine, Bones,” he murmured. “I just wasn’t expecting to see Spock again so soon.”

 “That _is_ your friend Spock, then? No chance it could be someone else with the same name?”

 “No, Bones. And anyway, unlike Terran names, Vulcan names are unique to the individual. There’s very little chance of their being duplicated.” He stared at Spock as he sat at his father’s side right up on the podium, toying with a tricorder containing the notes for Sarek’s speech. Ambassador Fox sat at Sarek’s left, with a couple of human aides seated beside him. At the head of the table sat T’Pau, the formidable matriarch described as “all of Vulcan in one package”, holding her black staff like a royal scepter as she calmly regarded the faces seated on either side of the long conference table.

“Did he mention his family at all while you two were crossing those mountains together?”

“No, he never told me who his parents were. All he said was that his family was of an ancient lineage, and he had a great many responsibilities.” Kirk was beginning to guess what some of those responsibilities were. _*He’s a member of one of the high families, descended from royalty. That means his marriage will have been arranged for him in childhood.*_ Kirk could feel his heart slowly breaking inside the shell of numbness that had descended on him since he learned the truth. _*That means we can never be together, even if he did join Starfleet and asked to be assigned to the ENTERPRISE. We could never be more than friends. Oh Spock, why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me believe there could be a future for us together?*_ His fists were clenched so tightly in his lap he could feel his nails cutting into his palms. 

“Take it easy, Jim.” McCoy patted his shoulder in a fatherly way. “You’re giving yourself stigmata there.”

Kirk managed to unclench his fists as Amanda turned to him with a worried look. “Are you all right, Captain?   You seem very tense this morning.” 

“He’s been under a lot of stress, Ma’am,” McCoy told her. “You know our captain, always frettin’ over details and worryin’ over every little thing that can go wrong. He knows how important this treaty is to the Federation and he’s determined to see that nothing goes wrong. Aren’t you, Captain?” He looked sternly at Kirk with his piercing blue eyes, warning him not to give himself away.

Kirk came out of his self-pitying stupor as he remembered what was at stake here. “That’s right, Doctor,” he said in his command voice, putting on his command face. “It’s my duty to see that nothing interferes with the treaty negotiations. Vulcan must and will be a member of the Federation.” He stared at Spock on the podium like an eagle at the sun, ordering himself not to care, not to feel anything. _*The future of Vulcan is more important than my feelings for Spock, or Spock’s feelings for me, if he has any.*_ That last bitter thought was born of anger at Spock’s deception, an anger that lasted long enough to carry him through the speeches, the final vote, and the announcement that Vulcan’s ruling council had voted nine to two with one abstention for membership in the United Federation of Planets.

Kirk rose to his feet with the rest of the audience as they applauded. Offworlders cheered, roared, yowled or bellowed their approval, depending on their species’ customs, while the Vulcans remained quietly dignified even as they applauded. Kirk managed to feel happy for Vulcan in spite of his anger at one of the scions of its high families. 

********      

There was a celebratory reception afterwards in the Hall of Plenty, where state banquets were always held. T’Pau sat in the great central seat receiving the congratulations of a long line of ambassadors from other worlds, Ambassador Fox at her left hand and Sarek at her right. All around them people were dancing to the stately chamber music played by an orchestra in an overhead balcony, or clustered around one of the long buffet tables, engaging in animated discussions between bites of Vulcan’s exquisite vegetarian cuisine, or one of the many other dishes originating on one of the many member worlds of the UFP.

 Captain Kirk had a Saurian brandy in one hand and a spicy Argelian meatroll in the other, but he didn’t seem to have much of an appetite. Doctor McCoy was stuffing his face with Southern fried chicken and potato salad from his own world while sampling liquors from various others, in between trading friendly insults with a Tellerite healer and flirting with a pretty Centarian doctor. While he was telling one of his racy anecdotes, one arm wrapped around the lady doctor’s waist as the Tellerite bellowed with laughter, Kirk saw Spock among a group of other Vulcans. McCoy was too preoccupied to notice him slip away.

Throwing the meatroll away, Kirk took a healthy belt from his brandy glass to give him courage as he approached the Vulcans. Spock had his back to him, his hands clasped behind his back, as he listened to one of his colleagues from the Academy giving a learned discourse. Kirk was able to come right up to him without being noticed. “Spock,” he said quietly to the back of the Vulcan’s shining dark head.

Spock turned around and looked at him with what appeared to be merely friendly interest. “Yes, Captain?” he said calmly.

“I need to talk to you. Is there somewhere we can go that’s private?” Kirk marveled to himself at how calm he sounded.

“Certainly.” Spock turned back to his colleague. “Please excuse me, Stonn.” They nodded to each other courteously before Spock went aside with Kirk. He led the human to a balcony overlooking the desert. On the horizon, the red sun was setting in a blaze of bloody glory. Spock stood at the carved stone railing with his back to the glorious sunset, regarding solemnly the troubled human before him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kirk asked, keeping his voice calm with great effort.

Spock did not even pretend to misunderstand. “There was nothing you could have done, even had you known the truth. Nor would it have changed the decision that I had to make.”

“What decision?”

“Whether to join Starfleet, which has been my lifelong dream, so I could remain with you, or to remain on Vulcan and fulfill my family obligations.”

“What did you decide?” Kirk had a sneaking feeling he knew already, but he wanted to hear it from Spock’s own lips.

“I chose Vulcan.” The pain he saw in Jim’s eyes as he said this made his heart ache. “I am sorry, Jim. If circumstances were different, if I were merely a resident scientist at the Academy, I would have no compunction about dissolving my marriage contract in favor of a warrior’s bond with you. But I am Spock, son of Sarek, directly descended from the great Surak himself. Aside from this esteemed ancestral connection, I am also a member of one of Vulcan’s hereditary ruling clans.”

“Yes, I know. One of the high families.” Kirk had to look off into the distance so he wouldn’t break down. He watched the red sun setting over the horizon, along with all his hopes, as he tasted the bitterness of the cup of sorrow he was being forced to drink from. “I suppose you already have a bride picked out for you.”

“She was chosen for me when I was seven years old. Honor demands that I marry her, regardless of my feelings for you.”

“Then you _do_ have feelings for me?” Kirk seized on this slender thread of hope. “You weren’t just pretending on the Pilgrim’s Trail?”

“How could I counterfeit an emotion like love? One such as you deserves better than that.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me before we made love that you weren’t free?” Kirk demanded, still managing to keep his voice down, though he longed to shout aloud and let the whole world know his anger at being so deceived.

“Because there was nothing you could have done,” Spock repeated wearily. “And because I could not deny myself the pleasure of being with you, brief though it was.” His arms ached to hold Jim, to cuddle the fair head against his breast as he stroked his pain away. But duty held him as firmly as chains of adamant. To add to his pain, he suddenly caught sight of his intended bride crossing the floor of the Hall of Plenty. She wore a white gown with a high-necked collar, and pearl brooches in the coils of her shining, black hair, holding her arrogant little head up as proudly as any queen. As she approached the group of Spock’s friends from the Academy, he gathered up his courage and told Jim, “There is my bride-to-be T’Pring, the one in white.”

Kirk forced himself to look over his shoulder at the woman. She did not see either of them, she was too busy talking to one of the men in the group. “She’s very beautiful,” Kirk said listlessly. “I hope she can make you happy.”

“Do not be absurd, Jim.” A rough edge came into Spock’s deep voice, belying the calm façade he was trying to maintain. “You know that you alone make my happiness.”

Kirk regarded him curiously. “Don’t you feel anything for her? Even desire? She _is_ very beautiful.”  

“I shall do my duty with her, nothing more. As she will do her duty with me, bearing my children and keeping my house. I am sure we shall manage to live together in courteous indifference for the rest of our lives.” For one brief moment, Spock sounded as bitter as he felt. So much so that Kirk was able to feel sorry for T’Pring. After all, she hadn’t deliberately taken Spock from him. This marriage was being forced on her as well.

“Try to be good to her,” he urged Spock. “It’s not her fault. She’s just as much a slave to custom as you.”

Spock looked at him with love. “You display your nobility of character by urging me to be merciful to your rival.”

“She’s not my rival. She’s a victim of circumstance, the same as we are.” Kirk watched her in animated conversation with Stonn; the arrogance was gone from her pose as she showed genuine interest in what he was saying, her aristocratic features softened by what appeared to be affection. “She seems mighty fond of your friend there,” he commented.

“Yes, I have noticed that she appears to have a good deal more in common with Stonn than with me.” Spock studied the young couple indifferently. “A pity she did not meet him sooner. Had they been bonded as children, I might have been free when I met you.”

“Are eligible women so scarce on your world?”

“Only when one is of mixed blood, such as I. My father has often told me that were it not for my noble lineage, it would have been very difficult, if not impossible, to find me a suitable match. I consider myself quite fortunate that he was able to do so.” He did not sound as if he thought himself fortunate. He was just being the dutiful son, expressing gratitude to his father for going to so much trouble on his behalf.

Kirk knew this and was able to give him a sad smile. “I hope you still feel so fortunate on your wedding day. When is it?”

“Tomorrow.”

Kirk felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. “So soon?” he whispered. He quickly got hold of himself. “Of course!” he said with false cheerfulness. “What could be more appropriate than to schedule a wedding the day after such a momentous event?”

“The date was scheduled long before the treaty negotiations were planned. But I agree with you that it is most appropriate.” He knew Jim was only trying to put a good face on things and he loved him for trying. “Shall I look forward to seeing you there?”

 “No, thank you. I think it’s best we keep our distance from one another on your wedding day. After all, it wouldn’t be fair to—your wife,” Kirk managed to say past the lump in his throat, “if your attention was diverted from her by my presence.”

 “She will have my hand in marriage. But you will always have my heart,” Spock assured him.

Kirk smiled bravely as he raised his glass in a toast. “Here’s to you, my friend. I wish you long life and prosperity.” He drained the glass, trying to wash away the bitterness of sorrow with Saurian brandy. Then he threw the empty glass into a corner, shattering it, betraying his suppressed anger. “Goodbye, Spock.” He turned and started to go back into the crowded banquet hall.

By now the sun was barely visible above the desert horizon. As Spock watched him walk away in the growing darkness, the thought of never seeing him again filled him with such despair that he called out, “Jim! Wait!”

Kirk stopped and looked back at him. “Yes, Spock? What is it?”

Spock went to him, took him by the arm and led him off to one side, so that they wouldn’t be seen by anybody from inside. In the darkest corner of the balcony, he took the human into his arms. “Just let me hold you one last time, Jim,” he pleaded softly. “It would mean so much to me.”

Kirk was unable to refuse him. “Yes,” he whispered and felt himself enfolded in a firm embrace, which he returned, squeezing the slender body as hard as he could. He rested his head on Spock’s breast, while Spock stroked his hair and held him close. They stood together that way as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, hiding them in the shadows of night. They kept on holding each other until the first stars appeared in the sky.

Kirk finally raised his head so he could kiss his lover one last time. As they kissed, Spock tightened his grip until he heard a whimper, then loosened it out of consideration for his weaker human lover. The kiss lasted long enough for them to begin feeling the first stirrings of desire. Then Kirk decided it had lasted long enough and stopped it before they got carried away. Before leaving, he took Spock’s face in his hands so he could look into his eyes.

“I’ll always love you,” Kirk said, softly and sadly.

“Farewell, _T’hy’la_ ,” Spock whispered in reply.

Kirk walked away without looking back. Spock watched him go, then leaned against the rough stone wall of Pelasht with his eyes closed, trying to regain control of his raging emotions. Hot tears seeped out from beneath his closed eyelids. He let them fall, savoring the burning sensation as they ran down his face.

 On his way out, Kirk ran into McCoy. The good doctor was now nursing a mint julip as he happily talked shop with another Starfleet medical officer from the Terran embassy.

“Bones, I have to go,” Kirk said in his ear. “Can you make my apologies for me?”

“What?” McCoy turned around, saw him and said, “Oh, sure, Jim! What’s the matter, you too pooped to party?”

 “Something like that. I don’t want to spoil your fun. Just tell Mr. Fox and Sarek that I couldn’t stay any longer and went back to the ship. Remember to congratulate T’Pau too.”

“Will do! Hey, why don’t you send Gary down to take your place? He loves to party, and there’s plenty of pretty ladies here to party with.”

 “Yes, I’m sure he’d like that.” Kirk patted his old friend’s shoulder. “Good night, Bones. Have fun.” He left McCoy to his fun and went outside the Hall of Plenty to beam up from there.

********     

The day of the wedding dawned bright and clear, the red sun rising in a deep blue sky over the _Khun-ut-Kali-fee_ of Spock’s clan. By the third hour after dawn, Spock was in his appointed place, wearing the ceremonial black silk robes with his jeweled clan badge embroidered in gold on the left breast, and the symbols of long life, prosperity, and fecundity embroidered in silver on the sleeves and down the front, as he solemnly banged the gong. As the bridal party approached amid the tinkling of many little bells, he thought of Jim and wondered what he was doing now.

 _*Does he think of me on board his ship? Does he resent me for the choice I made? Or does he seek to forget me in the press of his duties? Perhaps he will take another lover to help him forget.*_ A brief pang of jealousy at the thought of Jim with another almost made him lose his facade of calm. He regained control quickly. _*If he chooses to take another lover, it is his right. He is free and unpromised. And he is the sort of man who would find it hard to sleep alone.*_

He saw T’Pring approaching in her short, white dress, intended to symbolize the child she had been when they met. He was not looking forward to his wedding night; he could picture her lying beneath him as still as a corpse, determined to do her duty and nothing more, using mind control to think herself away from the experience so that she would feel nothing, neither pain nor pleasure. Though he knew she was as powerless to prevent this marriage as he was, he still couldn’t help feeling resentful towards her. __*She is only going through with this marriage from a sense of duty, because she has no logical reason to dissolve the contract. While I, who do have a reason, dare not reveal it to prevent dishonoring my clan.*__

He looked over at his father and mother, who stood in the shade of the tall standing stones. __*You once feared I would never be truly Vulcan, Father. Today I shall prove to you that I can be. Like T’Pring, I am determined to do my duty no matter how much it hurts.*__

Soon Spock and T’Pring were kneeling before T’Pau as she chanted the ancient words of joining. When she was done, she would lay her hands on their faces and join their minds, using the tentative bond that had been created in childhood to create a permanent bond. Spock avoided looking at his bride so she wouldn’t see the resentment in his eyes. _ _ _ __*Maybe if I think of Jim tonight, it won’t be so bad. I will probably be better able to consummate the marriage if I imagine myself with him. Just think of Jim and everything will be all right. Think of Jim and you’ll be able to perform. Remember how warm and willing he was as he lay in your arms...*_____ He saw T’Pau’s hand approaching his face and closed his eyes, clearing his mind to receive the mind touch.

A painful sensation like an electric shock suddenly filled his head as T’Pau gasped in pain and snatched her hands away. “What is this?” she demanded. “Spock, does thee resist me?”

“Nay, T’Pau,” he assured her, feeling dazed and confused. “I am here to do my duty, as custom requires.”

“T’Pring, does thee resist me?” she demanded of the bride.

“Nay, Elder Mother, I am prepared to do my duty also,” T’Pring insisted. But she had the same dazed and confused look on her face as Spock.

Cautiously, T’Pau reached out to touch their faces again. She laid her fingertips lightly against T’Pring’s right cheek and Spock’s left, only to receive another shock. “Both of thee are resisting me!” she declared. “Thou hast formed bonds with others, stronger than the one created between thee as children. I cannot join thy minds unless both of thee are willing. T’Pring, tell me truthfully, does thee still wish to join with Spock?”

T’Pring hesitated, then said, “Nay, Elder Mother, I desire another for my husband.”

“Who is he, then? Speak, woman!” T’Pau commanded. “For whom does thee wish to reject my grandson?”

“Forgive me, Elder Mother, but the one who fills my mind and heart is not the one to whom I was betrothed as a child. His name is Stonn.” T’Pring bowed her head in shame as the blood rose to her face, coloring her cheeks bright green.

Spock was astounded to learn that T’Pring was as hopelessly in love in Stonn as he was with Jim. He should have gone to her in the first place and requested dissolution of their marriage contract. If only he had done so before it came to this!

“And thee, Spock?” T’Pau demanded of him in return. “Who is the one who fills thy mind and heart instead of thy rightful bride?”

But it was still not too late. If he admitted he desired another as well, he and T’Pring might both be permitted to join with the ones they desired. So he looked up at T’Pau and whispered, “His name is Jim."

********     

Captain James T. Kirk sat in the command chair on the bridge of the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE, staring at a compslate that his yeoman had just handed him. He didn’t even see the fiery yellow letters of the requisition form glowing up at him from the miniature screen; all he could see were the dark eyes of his Vulcan lover as they bade each other goodbye last night. 

“Captain?” Yeoman Janice Rand bent her blonde head a little bit closer to his. “Is something wrong, sir?”

Kirk snapped out of it and gave her a false smile. “No, I’m fine, Rand. I’m just a little tired this morning.” He scribbled his signature on the slate and gave it back to her. Seeing her wide, blue eyes still regarding him with concern, he maintained his cheerful demeanor as he swiveled his chair towards the Communications station. “Lieutenant Uhura, are we cleared for departure?" 

“As soon as Ambassador Fox returns, sir,” the petite black woman informed him. “He was invited to the wedding of Ambassador Sarek’s son today.”

Fresh pain filled him as he thought of his Spock bonding with another. _*At least I don’t have to be there to see it!*_ “Prepare to leave orbit as soon as Ambassador Fox returns, then.”

“Yes, sir.” Uhura turned away to answer an incoming signal while Kirk busied himself reading the daily report from Engineering. Before he’d gotten halfway through it, Uhura turned again. “Sir, I’m receiving an urgent message for you from Ambassador Fox on Vulcan.”

Kirk looked up from the compslate, a puzzled expression on his handsome face. “An urgent message from Ambassador Fox? Let’s hear it, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir.” Uhura put the ambassador on audio. Kirk heard Fox’s worried voice coming from the Communications board.

“Captain Kirk, please beam down immediately. Something very important has come up which requires your immediate attention.”

“Very well, Mr. Fox, I’ll be right down.” Kirk rose, handing the compslate to Rand as he did so. “Mr. Mitchell, you have the con.”

“Aye, sir.” First Officer Mitchell assumed command as the captain left the bridge. He gave Uhura an inquiring look, but she shook her head at him.

“Sorry, Commander, I don’t know any more than the captain does. I’m sure he’ll tell us all about it when he gets back.”

“Must be pretty important,” Mitchell remarked, “for them to disrupt the wedding of Ambassador Sarek’s son.” 

********    

When Kirk beamed down to the coordinates Scotty had been given, he found himself in a Place of Marriage or Challenge, encircled by enormous standing stones and filled with wedding guests. Fox beckoned to him from where he was standing in the shade of one of those stones with Sarek and Amanda. As Kirk went over to them, he felt the eyes of all the wedding guests on him.

“What seems to be the problem, Mr. Fox?” Kirk asked the Federation ambassador.

“Captain, I—” Fox looked very uncomfortable. Sarek’s expression was unreadable; Amanda’s was anxious. “I asked you to beam down at Sarek’s request. It seems there’s some kind of impediment to his son’s marriage that has to do with you.”

“With me?” Kirk faked surprise convincingly.

“Yes, you! Did you and Sarek’s son just spend the last two weeks together making a pilgrimage to T’Vet’s shrine?” Kirk nodded. “Well—” The red-haired ambassador began to blush. “Sarek wants to know just how close you two became on that journey.”

Kirk turned his startled eyes on the Vulcan ambassador, who was now regarding him steadily over his folded arms as his wife twisted a delicate blue handkerchief between her hands. “Mr. Sarek,” Kirk addressed him cautiously, “exactly what are you asking me, sir?”

“What I am asking you, Captain,” Sarek said gravely, “is if, during your recent sojourn with my son to the Shrine of T’Vet, you two became intimate.”

Kirk felt his face get hot as he blushed. He glared at Sarek silently for a few moments, thinking: _*If you were anybody else, I’d tell you to mind your own damn business! But you’re not only the Vulcan ambassador, you’re Spock’s father. And I don’t swear in front of ladies if I can help it.*_ Controlling his temper, Kirk managed to reply politely, if coldly, “Sir, I fail to see what possible interest my private life or Spock’s can be to you. Your son and I are both adults. What we chose to do in private is our own business. At any rate, it’s over now. Spock told me he intended to honor his marriage contract and I accepted his decision to do so.”

“I am afraid it is not over yet, Captain.” Sarek’s voice was just as polite and cold as Kirk’s. “Whatever there was between you and Spock on the Pilgrim’s Trail seems to have created a spontaneous bond between you. It is preventing T’Pau from joining his mind to T’Pring, his rightful bride. If you truly care for my son, you will attempt to mend the damage you have done.”

“How?”

“By allowing T’Pau to mindmeld with you and attempt to dissolve the bonding. It is not always possible to dissolve a spontaneous bonding, but honor demands that we at least make the attempt.”

Kirk was both thrilled to learn that he and Spock had bonded after all and disappointed that they could not remain that way. He thought of pleading with Sarek to let them stay bonded, but the ambassador’s stern expression froze the words on his lips. So he took a deep breath to master his emotions and said, “I have no desire to dishonor your family, sir. If Spock wishes to end this bonding as well, then I will agree to it.”

Sarek nodded in approval and led him over to where Spock and T’Pring still stood before T’Pau. Kirk was surprised to see Stonn, the young man T’Pring had been speaking to the night before, standing off to one side. He was looking longingly at T’Pring, who was avoiding his glance. But her flushed green face and slightly trembling lips betrayed the fact that she was very much aware of his presence, even if she dared not acknowledge it. T’Pau was looking at her disapprovingly; Spock stood with his head down, avoiding eye contact with everybody. That is, until he heard Kirk approach. Then he looked up and met his eyes.

“Jim,” he said softly, acknowledging and welcoming him at the same time.

“Spock.” Kirk couldn’t keep from smiling at the sight of him. But one stern look from T’Pau was enough to wipe the smile off his face.

“Captain James T. Kirk,” the Vulcan elder addressed him with icy formality, black eyes regarding him severely, “did thee spend the past fortnight with Spock, son of Sarek, on the Pilgrim’s Trail?”

“Yes, madam, I did,” Kirk admitted, standing rigidly at attention, feeling like a cadet back at Starfleet Academy being dressed down by a senior officer.

“And did thee know him?”

“We became—quite close,” Kirk said, reluctant to be more explicit before a woman of her years and dignity.

“Do not be coy with me, Captain,” T’Pau told him sternly. “I am too old to bother with the proprieties. I asked if thee did know him.”

Kirk sighed. “If you are using the word ‘know’ in the biblical sense, then yes, I did know him. Well and often.”

T’Pau looked puzzled for a moment at this reference to the Terran Bible, then remembered the book of Genesis from her study of the humans’ holy book. “Yes, that is what I meant. And did Spock tell thee that he was to marry T’Pring?”

“Not until last night, in the Hall of Plenty during the celebration. He also told me he had decided to go through with the marriage, despite his feelings for me. He felt it was his duty to do so.”

“And how did thee feel about his decision?” T”Pau studied him closely to see his reaction.

Kirk glared at her as his jaw clenched tight. _*Damn you, you miserable old woman! You want to see me make a spectacle of myself, embarrass Spock with an emotional display that’ll prove how unfit I am to be his bondmate? Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I will not put on a show of emotional human weakness for you!*_ Maintaining his cool, he told her stiffly, “I wasn’t happy with it, but I felt it was my duty to honor his decision. So I wished him well and said goodbye.”

T’Pau found her old heart softening towards this gallant young human, doing his best to be logical under very difficult circumstances. She could see how much he cared for Spock and how hard it had been for him to let him go. But he had done the right thing, even though it broke his heart. Now she just had to make one final test of his honor. “I see that thou art an honorable man, Captain Kirk. Are thee now willing to let me enter thy mind, so that I may attempt to dissolve this accidental bonding that was created between thee and Spock?”

“If Spock wishes me to do so.” Kirk looked at him with love and longing in his eyes. Spock looked back at him with just as much love and longing, maintaining his outward façade of Vulcan calm.

T’Pau was touched by their intense loyalty to one another. Each one was determined to do what the other one wanted, despite his own wishes in the matter. Choosing her words carefully, she explained to Kirk what was at stake. “Captain Kirk, there is a question of honor involved here. On one hand, we have a valid betrothal between Spock and T’Pring, created at the traditional age of seven. On the other hand, we have not one, but two spontaneous bondings created in adulthood. The one between thee and Spock, and the one between T’Pring and Stonn.”

A startled Kirk looked at T’Pring so hard that she closed her eyes in embarrassment. Stonn took a menacing step towards him, until he saw Spock staring challengingly at him and dropped his own eyes meekly. T’Pau continued. “T’Pring has agreed to abide by the marriage contract, but Stonn wishes to claim her for his own and challenge Spock for her. Spock has the right to accept this challenge, but even if he wins and kills Stonn, breaking the bond between him and T’Pring, he still cannot bond with T’Pring against his will. He has agreed to honor the marriage contract only if thee will agree to release him from the bonding that was accidently created between thee. Thee knows, Captain, that a Vulcan bonding cannot be dissolved without the consent of both parties. So will thee release Spock, or claim him for thyself?"

“I want what Spock wants,” Kirk said determinedly. “If he still wishes to bond with T’Pring, then I will release him." 

“Very well. Kneel before me, Captain Kirk.” Kirk obeyed, giving Spock one last longing look before focusing his attention on T’Pau. She laid her right hand on his left cheek, her aged fingers expertly seeking out the meld points leading to the psi centers of his brain. “Open thy mind to me, Kirk,” she told him softly. “Let me see thy thoughts. Thy mind to my mind, my mind to thy mind...”

Kirk felt the same sensation he had when Spock mindmelded with him, as if he were falling asleep. He surrendered to the feeling, anxious to get it over with so he could return to his ship and get on with his life and let Spock get on with his. He loved Spock too much to force him to stay with him. If this accidental bonding created by their brief time together was the only thing preventing Spock from doing his duty to his noble clan, then it was his duty to set him free. For the good of the Federation and the newly signed treaty with Vulcan, he had to let Spock go.

A sharp pain filled his head as he heard T’Pau gasp and felt her snatch her hand away. “Not again!” she exclaimed. The Vulcan elder sounded more annoyed than hurt. “His mind also resists me!”

“T’Pau, can thee not free my son from this bonding?” he heard Sarek’s voice say. (Of course he would never call her ‘Mother’ in public.)

“No more than I can release thee from thine own bonding, Sarek,” T’Pau replied. “The bond is too deep to dissolve without doing great damage. I do not wish to inflict mental cruelty on an honorable man, whose only offense has been to fall in love with thy son.”

“But the contract—” Sarek started to protest.

“Is automatically null and void,” T’Pau informed him, “now that both parties are of legal age and have formed new bonds with others. It remains only to dissolve the remnant of the old bond between Spock and T’Pring, so that the new bonds with their chosen partners can be strengthened.” She looked down at Kirk and asked him solemnly, “Captain Kirk, does thee still wish to bond with Spock?”

Dazed and confused as he was, Kirk still had enough sense to say “Yes.” The next thing he knew, Spock was kneeling beside him and T’Pau’s hand was on his face. Her expression became very intent as she delved inside Spock’s mind, removing all traces of the old childhood bond. Then her hands were on both their faces, joining their minds as gently as two hands clasping. Kirk felt a great sense of oneness, a joining deeper than their bodies had been able to achieve, as their minds became one.

 _*T’hy’la,*_ he heard Spock’s voice saying happily inside his mind, _*we are together at last!*_

__*Yes, my love,*_ Kirk thought back at him, tears of joy coming to his eyes. _*Now we’ll be together forever.*__

__*Forever, my love...*__ A delicious feeling of ecstasy came over him as Spock gave him a mental caress, stimulating the pleasure centers of his brain. At the same time, a mental image of them lying together in love filled his mind, promising him more delights to come.

A small smile came to T’Pau’s stern mouth as she saw how much Spock longed for his _t’hy’la_ and how the human longed for him, before she put up her mental shields to avoid seeing any more of their private thoughts. She could sense that this was a deeply rooted warrior’s bond, one that would endure for the lifetime of the human partner. She hoped Spock would be as happy with his chosen one as his father had been with his. As for T’Pring and Stonn, one could only hope they would be content together once they learned that having was not so pleasing a thing as wanting. It was not logical, but it was often true.

Afterwards, Spock helped Kirk to his feet so that the human could be formally presented to his parents. Sarek seemed resigned to the fact that his son had chosen a warrior’s bond. Amanda just looked relieved and happy for her son. She welcomed Kirk warmly, embracing him in her motherly way.

“Confidentially,” she whispered in Kirk’s ear, “I’d sooner have you bonded to Spock then that arrogant little snob T’Pring. I never liked her!”

Kirk smiled, relieved by her wholehearted welcome. As soon as she released him, he steeled himself to greet Sarek, wearing an appropriately serous expression. He was expecting Sarek to treat him coldly, but was determined to be polite. To his surprise, Sarek offered him a kinsman’s welcome, holding out his hands palms up and crossed at the wrists.

“I bid you welcome, James, bondmate of Spock,” Sarek told him cordially. “I am sure you will be a credit to the family.”

 “Thank you, sir.” Kirk crossed his hands at the wrist to clasp Sarek’s hands.

“Well, Spock,” Sarek now addressed his son, “it appears you shall have your wish after all.”

“What wish is that, Father?” Spock inquired.

“To join Starfleet, of course. How else can you remain by your bondmate’s side? Need I remind you that your Time of Mating is very near? It will not do for you two to be separated at such a time.”

“You’re going to let Spock join Starfleet?” Ambassador Fox finally spoke up, still recovering from his astonishment at seeing two males joined in what amounted to common law marriage on Vulcan. “But I thought you were morally opposed—”

“Obviously you have not yet read the revisions in the treaty, Mr. Fox,” Sarek informed him as he released his new son-in-law’s hands. “Since Vulcan is now a full member of the Federation, the council decided it was only logical that we should support it by any means possible. Since Starfleet is an exploratory force as well as a protective one, the council has ruled that those who wish to enlist in Starfleet may do so, provided that the main reason is the study of science, or to remain with one’s bondmate. After all, my son and I will not be the only Vulcans who choose human consorts. And I am sure that there will be other humans who wish to take Vulcan consorts.” 

“I think that’s a very logical assumption, sir,” Kirk said with a grin.

"Then you will see that Spock is assigned to your ship?”

“Of course! The position of science officer has been vacant since our last mission. All Spock has to do is sign on as a scientist and I’ll see to it that he’s assigned to the Science Department.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful, Spock!” Amanda exclaimed. “It’s what you’ve always wanted, to be a science officer aboard a Federation starship! To see new worlds, meet new peoples, discover strange and wonderful things—”

“Mother, please,” Spock murmured, the tips of his ears turning green with embarrassment.

 “I’m sorry, dear.” She hid a smile behind her handkerchief. “But it does a mother’s heart good to see her only child get his heart’s desire along with the right mate.”

 T’Pring and Stonn, now newly bonded themselves, came up to congratulate them. “Live long and prosper, Spock,” T’Pring told him gravely. “And thank you for releasing me from our contract.”

“It would not have been logical to compel you to honor it, when we both had found more suitable bondmates.” Spock studied Stonn gravely and decided that he would be more suited to T’Pring than he would have been. _*Stonn has always been of an agreeable nature. Much too agreeable, yielding to anybody with a more dominant personality. And T’Pring has always been a very headstrong woman. They should get along quite well together.*_ He almost felt sorry for Stonn, tied to this domineering woman for the rest of his life. But it had been his decision to be so tied. One could only hope he did not live to regret it. “I wish you both well. May you live long and prosper together.”

“Thank you,” T’Pring said for them both. “May you also live long and prosper with your chosen one.” She gave Kirk the briefest of nods, as if she did not consider him good enough to bond with any proper Vulcan, but good enough for Spock, whom she had never considered a proper Vulcan. 

Kirk took the hint and was smart enough not to take offense. _*Thank God Spock and I have a relationship of equals!*_ he thought, remembering Spock’s words to him in the Cleansing Cave.

 _*Yes, we do,”_ Spock’s mind voice said inside his head, which startled him for a moment. _*And I have no intention of ruling you the way T’Pring will rule poor Stonn. I know enough about the ego of starship captains not to presume to tell you how to run your ship. So long as you do not presume to tell me how to run my Science Department.*_

Kirk turned his head to meet his new bondmate’s gaze and found Spock looking at him with an unmistakable look of determination in his eyes. He almost laughed out loud, but managed to restrain himself. _*Thanks for the warning, love,*_ he replied mentally with a twinkle in his own eyes. __*_ Yes, I promise to stay out of your way in the Science Department, as long as you leave the rest of the ship to me.*_

 _*Agreed.*_   Spock moved a little bit closer to him so that they could receive T’Pau’s final blessing, along with Stonn and T’Pring. Sarek and Amanda stood behind their son and his new bondmate, while Ambassador Fox stood beside Sarek, looking at Kirk and Spock as if he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“After all these years in the diplomatic corps, I thought I’d seen everything!” Fox muttered.

“Come now, Mr. Fox,” Sarek murmured, a hint of a smile on his solemn face. “Surely you have seen marriages of state before, arranged to bring about an alliance between two planets?”

“Yes, but the two parties were usually of opposite sexes!”

“In order to function as a diplomat, one must be flexible. I know I have always been.”

“It looks as if your son is too!” Fox commented.

 “Indeed,” was all Sarek had to say in reply.

 THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This story was orginally published in KALEIDOSCOPE 4, February 1996. I'm dedicating it to Sahviere, who found it on the Wayback Machine (an online archive) and wrote me an email asking me to reprint it. Here it is, Sahviere, revised and posted for your approval.


End file.
